Nursing, Smoking, and Kids

[JettaDP]

I have a neighbor that has two small children and they are serious chain smokers. I've always thought that smoking around children is a form of child abuse. But I've never wanted to say anything to them because despite my personal feelings, smoking around kids is discouraged but not illegal (yet). At least not where I live. So all I do is walk by and do nothing about it. Now, I am a nursing student. And as a future nurse, I feel obligated to do something. But what can I possibly do considering it is not illegal? If I talk to them, they could retaliate in some way. I don't really know them so I don't have a clue how they would react. I am just fearful for the kids (ages 2 and 4). Should I just mind my own business? I'm not trying to be a nosey neighbor. I just don't want to see the kids develop asthma or cancer or something.

[JettaDP]

I smoke, am a nurse, and have kids. We (SO and I) smoke outside, and if the kids are in the car keep the windows all the way down and cigarettes outside the car, if we even smoke with them in the car. Most of the time we don't. At times we smoked inside the house, but that was only when the kids were upstairs in bed, and we were in the basement.

Do you know they are not taking the same precautions? I mean, I'll smoke when they are around (ie outside while they are playing) but I make sure to tell them to not come near me when I'm smoking.

My kids don't have health problems- no asthma, no frequent sicknesses etc. The only time they were frequently sick was when they started daycare. (Which is to be expected)

I just think its a huge jump to call smokers who have kids child abusers.

I don't think you should say anything. Its really not your place.

Actually yes, I do know they're not taking the same precautions. I live in an apartment building. I am on the second floor and they're on the first. During the day they almost always have their front door open and they have a gate up to keep the kids from escaping. When I walk down the stairs from my apartment I have a direct view into their living room. And EVERYDAY I see them smoking with their kids there. Sometimes with the kids in their arms while they smoke.

I realize that not every child gets sick because of second hand smoke. But when a parent smokes around a child, they have no idea as to how it will affect the child. Maybe nothing happen, or maybe the child will get sick enough to die. You just don't know until it happens.

Lastly, I did not say that parents who smoke and have children are child abusers. What I said was that parents who smoke AROUND their children are. You don't have to agree with me. And I'm not trying to attack you. But you are entitled to your opinion as am I. Parents who knowing put their children in possible harms way, are abusing.

I'm glad you take precautions to keep it away from your kids. Fact is, there are many people who don't. Such as my neighbors. And in my opinion, it is abuse.

[JettaDP]

You feel obligated to do something because you are a "future nurse"? Really?

You need to mind your own business.

Yes, really. As a future health care provider I feel that I should look after the health of others. Including people who can't speak for themselves. And yes, I have decided to "mind my own business". I was asking for opinions. Not for rude responses.

[Sean04]

So what happens if you see an overweight child in Mcdonald's with their parents? Are you going to feel obligated to tell the parent not to buy that kid a cheeseburger because they are potentially harming their health? Is that child abuse? Where does it end?

Just because you are a "future nurse", you are not the health police.

[beachbum3]

So what happens if you see an overweight child in Mcdonald's with their parents? Are you going to feel obligated to tell the parent not to buy that kid a cheeseburger because they are potentially harming their health? Is that child abuse? Where does it end?

Just because you are a "future nurse", you are not the health police.

Amen.

[Sterren, BSN, RN]

Parents who knowing put their children in possible harms way, are abusing.

Then any parent who has ever driven over the speed limit, or taken their kid on an amusement park ride, or let their kids eat a Happy Meal, is abusive. I absolutely agree with you that parents shouldn't smoke around their kids, but I strongly, strongly object to throwing around accusations of abusive parenting. It diminishes real abuse, IMO, to say that if a parent does something that has risk, around their child or with their child, that makes them abusive.

In regards to your OP, I would agree with the others who have suggested that you need to mind your own business. Chances are very good that they are very, very well aware of the potential consequences of their actions and a word from you is not going to change anything except their feelings towards you.

[juliemcd]

Been a nurse for 1 month. Been a smoker for 15 years. I also have a child who is 13. Stopped smoking when I found out I was pregnant, started again when she was about 1. Why??? who knows. Have always smoked outside and never in the car with her.

She has terrible allergies and asthma. Asthma developed at about 6 months old. Allergies developed a few years later. Have a sister who smoked thru all 3 of her pregnancies, smokes in the house and in the car. None of her kids, at the present time (9,11 and 14 yrs old), have a single health problem. Go figure.

However..... have a friend who's parents chain smoked in the house/car etc.... her entire life. You never walked in that house without there being a cloud of smoke above your head. Imagine living there. Now, her parents health is in good standing considering their long standing smoking habit. My friends health on the other hand.... She has way to many hlth problems to even begin to name. Things a 30+ yr old women should NOT be experiencing. She began having multiple/serious hlth problems at about 19 years old. thyroid cancer being one of them.

It makes me wonder if it was all those years of living in a smoke filled house. Oh, and by the way, she's an only child. So who knows. Maybe her parents had infertility problems and used some of the wall fertility drug to get pregnant, I don't know.

When people give me a hard time about being a smoking nurse I tell them "I was a smoker LONG before I was a nurse. One thing at a time please, and by the way..... put that twinkie or that fast food or that soda, or that bottle of gin, or that case of beer or that illegal drug in the garbage".

:nono: to all of us and our, to many to name, bad health habits!

[beachbum3]

Actually yes, I do know they're not taking the same precautions. I live in an apartment building. I am on the second floor and they're on the first. During the day they almost always have their front door open and they have a gate up to keep the kids from escaping. When I walk down the stairs from my apartment I have a direct view into their living room. And EVERYDAY I see them smoking with their kids there. Sometimes with the kids in their arms while they smoke.

I realize that not every child gets sick because of second hand smoke. But when a parent smokes around a child, they have no idea as to how it will affect the child. Maybe nothing happen, or maybe the child will get sick enough to die. You just don't know until it happens.

Lastly, I did not say that parents who smoke and have children are child abusers. What I said was that parents who smoke AROUND their children are. You don't have to agree with me. And I'm not trying to attack you. But you are entitled to your opinion as am I. Parents who knowing put their children in possible harms way, are abusing.

I'm glad you take precautions to keep it away from your kids. Fact is, there are many people who don't. Such as my neighbors. And in my opinion, it is abuse.

I'm not disagreeing that it sucks for parents to hold their babies while they smoke, or even smoke inside with kids in the same room. But alot of things suck that parents and people in general do. Its great that you care, but in order to make a difference you have to realize there is a line that you can't cross. And being so self-righteous about it is just going to offend people and they won't hear your message at all. No matter how well intended you might be.

[JettaDP]

So what happens if you see an overweight child in Mcdonald's with their parents? Are you going to feel obligated to tell the parent not to buy that kid a cheeseburger because they are potentially harming their health? Is that child abuse? Where does it end?

Just because you are a "future nurse", you are not the health police.

You're absolutely right. And I don't know where it ends. I simply don't have an answer for that. And no, I wouldn't feel obligated to tell a parent feeding their kids McDonalds that their encouraging obesity because I wouldn't see them on a daily basis. If I did see them at McDonalds everyday, I still probably wouldn't say anything because that means that I too would be at McD's everyday!

I realize I'm not the health police. I'm not going around trying to solve all health problems I see. I am just showing concern for the two kids I see on a daily basis. One situation. One. It's like you're trying to make me feel bad for caring.

And as I said in a previous post, I have decided that everyone is right. And I am going to keep it to myself. I'm glad I did ask for opinions. I just didn't think I would get attacked for it.

[leslie :-D]

it bothers me also, to observe smoking in front of children.

as it bothers me to see parents feeding their kids crap and grow up overweight w/dm by the age of 12.

or young kids observing mom and dad to have their 'daily' cocktails/beer/wine.

and kids being brought up in a household that advocates hypocrisy, judgment and disrespect.

there's a lot that bothers me about what our kids are exposed to...

2nd hand smoke being one of many flaws.

it's time for most of us to shape up and act more responsibly.

where do we even begin?

leslie:twocents:

[JettaDP]

I'm not disagreeing that it sucks for parents to hold their babies while they smoke, or even smoke inside with kids in the same room. But alot of things suck that parents and people in general do. Its great that you care, but in order to make a difference you have to realize there is a line that you can't cross. And being so self-righteous about it is just going to offend people and they won't hear your message at all. No matter how well intended you might be.

Thank you. I agree with you. Thank you for recognizing that I have good intentions even though they may be incorrect.

[juliemcd]

Thank you. I agree with you. Thank you for recognizing that I have good intentions even though they may be incorrect.

we all have our own opinions. It doesn't mean anyone is right or anyone wrong. we are all entitled to our own opinions. There is just no right or wrong when it comes to a person's personal opinion. No matter what the subject. No worries, take it with a grain of salt if you can.

It's great that you are concerned for the kids. And even though I happen to be a smoker, I would/do have concern for them as well!!!!!!!!!!

(

[MQ Edna]

I can understand where you are coming from, but these parents are not smoking to decrease the health of their children. They are smoking because it is an addiction. It's unfortunate that they smoke around their young children, but you can not interfere in a situation where there has been no thought of actual harm on the parents mind. All you can do in this situation is live and let live. It's sad, but you're hands are tied.

P.S.

Would you agree that there is a difference between constantly blowing smoke in a child's face than smoking a cigarette and taking precautions to have as little impact on their health due to a disease (in this case addiction).

If you perhaps want to help, depending on your level of friendship, perhaps you could talk to them about some experiences you've had with other people you've known that have successfully quit smoking. If they aren't interested, leave it at that. If you don't know them well, don't even try. You don't want to come off as pretentious.