Nurse addict?

[banker321]

My wife is an RN and recently I've become more concerned about certain things I've found around our house. I'm not in the medical profession but thought maybe someone in this forum could offer me some advice.

A little background - my wife graduated from nursing school in 2000 and for the last year has worked the night shift in the critical care unit of a busy, major metropolitian hospital. She isn't happy at work for a variety of reasons and has had difficulty adjusting to the night shift (she has trouble sleeping during the day).

A few months ago I found two little IV viles of lorazepam in the butter compartment of our fridge. When I ask my wife about it she said that during patient emergencies she sometimes inadvertently put the partically used viles in her pocket and accidently took them home (she said they were marked as "waste" on the paitent's chart). I asked her why she just didn't throw them away later. She said it just seemed like a waste to do that. I didn't question her any further on it and didn't find anything else in the fridge after that.

Since then I've found two syringe caps on the floor in our bedroom. Recently I found two more viles of lorazepam (one in a "carpuject" form) and one vile of midazolam in her sock draw (yeah, I snooped). I'm reluctant to confront her on this because she's lied to me in the past about other non-work related issues.

Might I be just making a big deal about some innocent mistakes she's made or do you think there is more going on here? The only other hospital drug I've found around the house was a vile of oral dose morphine by the telephone. Any advice is greatly appreciated.

[fiestynurse]

Bonnie, your story was very moving. It gives me hope, that people can be helped and can recover. You obviously retained your RN license and went on to get your Masters degree. I bet you are a great inspiration to many patients, because you have been there and can empathize with their anguish.

I have a story to tell about an addicted nurse, who was not so fortunate. She was really a wonderful nurse and person. I use to pick her up in the morning and we would ride to work together. She had a great sense of humor and I enjoyed our talks. I knew that she was having problems with her marriage and she would often talk about her mother, who died when this nurse was 18 from alcoholism. I offered her as much support as I could, but I began to realize that she probably needed professional help. She began borrowing money from me. She would always pay it back, but I began to wonder why she was having money problems. She also started acting funny at work. One time she accidently threw a clip board on the bed of a patient and hit her in the stomach and another time she raced into a patient room, slamming the door on a patient's finger. She was a heavy smoker and at social gatherings she seemed to drink more than the rest of us. One time, during a Christmas party, I entered the bathroom to find her downing shots of Tequila. At another party she was found drunk in the closet, making out with a visiting doctor. (his wife was downstairs, but that's another story) I was very concerned for this nurse. I felt that she was becoming more self destructive. I expressed my concerns to various nurses on the floor and to the Director, but everyone seemed to be in denial. They would tell me that she was a good nurse and what she does on her personal time is really none of our business.

Then, one day she was caught by another nurse stealing money out of a patient's purse, while she was in surgery. I was in charge that day and it broke my heart to have to report this to the Director. At the same time I felt that it was the best opportunity for her to be confronted about her disease and to get help. However, the hospital just ended-up firing her. No charges were ever brought against her, her behavior was never reported to the board of nursing, and she was never offered treatment. She ended-up working at the hospital across town, where her addiction progressed.

One night, she turn on the gas stove, lit a match and blew her self up. When the paramedics arrived, she repeated over and over "I just want to die, please let me die." She died the next day from her extensive burns.

At her funeral, her son got up to do the eulogy. He angrily talked about the denial of everyone, regarding his mother's addiction. It was so painful, to listen to. I wish that I would have done more to help her. I think about her often.

[banker321]

Thank you again, everyone for your wonderful, thoughtful advice; especially Bonnie, your story gave me a lot to think about.

I spoke to my wife about what I found and my concerns regarding it. I tried not to be confrontational or judgmental (well at least as much as I was able to). She vehemently denied that she was using the drugs I had found. In fact, she was both horrified and amused by what I said. Horrified that I would think that about her and amused because she thought is was all so far-fetched.

As I mentioned in earlier post, she's a new RN that works the 8pm-8am shift in the cardiac critical care unit of a major metropolitan hospital in New York State. Her patients are so critical that she never is responsible for more than 1 or 2 people per shift. At least half of the patients on her unit die.

She told me that RN's on her unit/shift accidentally take home drugs such as morphine and lorazepam quite often and some of the nurses actually joke about it. She admitted that hospital rules require a nurse witness when disposing of drugs deemed

"waste"; however she said that rarely happens on her unit, the reason being that things are so crazy (ie. patients "coding" frequently) that you can't pull a nurse away to witness a "waste" when there is someone dying in the next bed (They are understaffed, ala the nursing shortage). Basically she said that in the culture of the hospital in which she works taking home these drugs by accident is not considered a big deal.

As for her explanation regarding the lorazepam in her sock draw she said she just put it there without thinking (hmm...). She reminded me that it's been there for at least two months, unused. This is true. I also remember reading somewhere on the internet that lorazepam is no good after a few weeks if not refrigerated. I also remember reading that lorazepam is a favorite choice of drug diverting nurses. So of course I'm confused....yet again.

Well to rap this post up....I confronted her, she denied it and we are stuck at that point. I'm not sure what to do at this point. Any other advice would be greatly appreciated. By the way, after our discussion she threw everything I found in the garbage. I wonder why she didn't do this initially.

[tiger]

that is the thing that bothers me banker. why didn't she do it initially???? is she just throwing it away to divert your suspicions? if i found anymore hidden stuff i would measure/count it exactly and monitor without her knowing and then cofront her if the initial amount decreases. i'm sur though if she is actually using them they will not be as easy to find next time. good luck.

[canoehead, BSN, RN]

FYI At our hospital if the full amount in the vial is not accounted for in the med sheets as being given to the patient we are called to the manager's office where we need to give a full account to the pharmacist and nursing manager. Based on that I think she has falsified the chart somehow to account for the missing med.

Once she is caught I think she might get one warning for one episode, and would probably be fired for the second episode. Aside from patients not getting their meds, the hospital can lose it's accreditation in a cool minute if they are not tracking narcotics.

To draw a parallel, what if a new teller at a bank had a balanced worksheet at the end of the day, but was going home with a couple twenties occasionally. It might be an honest mistake once (not likely) but they would never let them get away with it again.

Considering that her health is at risk, why not call the manager of the unit and ask about policies of disposing of narcotics. Manager WILL find out eventually, if you continue to find meds at home.

Really still think she has a problem.

[majic65]

To Banker--I know of NOWHERE where nurses take narcotics home "accidentially" and "joke about it". NOWHERE. Period.

At this point, I think you have two choices--decide you will ignore everything and just pretend it never happened or move forward in helping your wife. If you choose the first path, eventyally your wife will end up 1) fired 2) in jail and/or 3) dead. It may be sooner or later, but there will be some result, and it will be unpleasant.

No one can get another into treatment unless the addict wil at least acknowledge that there is a problem. But if you want to help your wife, I think you need to seek out some professional help. If there a minister/counselor/knowledgable friend you could speak with? If not, seek out a professional thru your own EAP--employes assistance program. You need some help and some knowledgable advice about your options at this point.

I cannot tell you strongly emough that your wife DOES have a problem, and I honestly don't think this is a new behavior, because she has put a lot of energy into coming up with excuses, even tho she is leaving clues in obvious places. The disease of addicition is very powerful and very persuasive. You face a difficult task, and it may cost you your marriage, even if you manage to help your wife recover from her illness. I am gratful that I am not in your position, and not faced with your choices.

Blessings to you both--

[PPL, BSN, RN]

The red flag is up! Act! Good luck to you both!

[michelle999]

get her help, if not get out of there because everything will catch up with her eventually