I just had to get some kind of guidance or input...
I am a new grad (5/06) and I work 7P-7A on a Medical/Oncology unit. I usually average from 5-7 patients per shift. I have had a "run" of VERY involved patients for the last month or so. Last night one of my elderly patients had lung CA with liver mets, confused, c/o abd pain for the last few days, no BM for 3-4 days, enemas with no result, distended abd... I'm thinking obstruction. The MD finally orders the patient NPO and and NGT. The tube returned 900cc's dark brown drainage. I constantly irrigated the tube because it would get clogged with particles.
To make a very long story short, I checked on him at 0600 and he was resting comfortably with a respiration rate of about 16/min. I did not wake him. At 0700 when the morning tech was getting vitals, the pt had no BP or pulse, spontaneous respirations, and was totally unresponsive. We coded the pt (my very first code) and sent them to the CCU. He was coded again in the CCU...
I have cried non-stop ever since with NO consoloation from the charge nurses. I got home and tried to sleep, but I keep going over the events of the night in my head.... what could I have done differently, did I document everything, was my charting accurate and up to par, etc.
I am absolutely scared to death, doubting myself and my abilities, and I am an emotional wreck. I have been out of school for 5 months and I feel like I am drowning! I run all night long while others are doing crossword puzzles at the nurses station... and I go as hard as I can all night long and still can't keep my head above water. I don't feel like I can go on at this pace for much longer.