My husband is driving me a bit bonkers....

[Brownms46]

Originally posted by nurseinanutshell:

Hello to all--I am new to these boards but it looks as though you have some scintillating discussions (I love that word)!

Anyway, I just had to vent and see if anyone else out there goes through the same thing. I love my husband dearly, but we have got to be the worst mix when it comes to experiencing illness. Growing up, my family came from stoic German background (no pain, no gain) and my husband's family lived for the quick fix. My husband and I are forever locking horns when we get ill or injured. I tend to want to ride things out and see if they improve and he wants to go to the doctor immediately and "maybe they have a pill" that will make it improve. What makes the situation worse is our perceptions of each other when we are ill. He thinks that if I don't go to the doctor to have my symptoms "validated" that I lose the right for support and understanding. I think he is a bit of a hypochondriac at times and am probably not as empathetic as I could be because of it. Doesn't this sound superbly dysfunctional!? I'm sure he would be a bit more comfortable if I were like him and I know I would be more comfortable he were a bit more like me; it's learning to accept each other's idiosyncrosies (sp?) that is so difficult. Thank goodness that we have a strong marriage (and that we're usually healthy) or this situation would be even more stressful!

By the way, my husband's favorite saying is that "you use your patience up on your patients", which at times might be true. I just wish that if I am to act the nurse at home too that he would listen to me once in a while!

Thanks for letting me vent!

Just thank God, you two are rarely sick, and that he's doesn't go macho on you, and you have to pull him into a doc's office, kicking, and screaming like a two year old. My mate will let stuff drag on forever, until I wear him down, or finally put my foot down, and threaten to call his provider myself! Thank God he is also rarely sick!

Brownie

[This message has been edited by Brownms46 (edited April 09, 2001).]

[nurseinanutshell]

Hello to all--I am new to these boards but it looks as though you have some scintillating discussions (I love that word)!

Anyway, I just had to vent and see if anyone else out there goes through the same thing. I love my husband dearly, but we have got to be the worst mix when it comes to experiencing illness. Growing up, my family came from stoic German background (no pain, no gain) and my husband's family lived for the quick fix. My husband and I are forever locking horns when we get ill or injured. I tend to want to ride things out and see if they improve and he wants to go to the doctor immediately and "maybe they have a pill" that will make it improve. What makes the situation worse is our perceptions of each other when we are ill. He thinks that if I don't go to the doctor to have my symptoms "validated" that I lose the right for support and understanding. I think he is a bit of a hypochondriac at times and am probably not as empathetic as I could be because of it. Doesn't this sound superbly dysfunctional!? I'm sure he would be a bit more comfortable if I were like him and I know I would be more comfortable he were a bit more like me; it's learning to accept each other's idiosyncrosies (sp?) that is so difficult. Thank goodness that we have a strong marriage (and that we're usually healthy) or this situation would be even more stressful!

By the way, my husband's favorite saying is that "you use your patience up on your patients", which at times might be true. I just wish that if I am to act the nurse at home too that he would listen to me once in a while!

Thanks for letting me vent!