How to shut up people who gossip !!!!!!

Nurses General Nursing

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A very wise person swears that printing out the following and posting it around the workplace will drastically cut down gossiping and backbiting, or at least tick them off:

Great people talk about ideas.

Average people talk about things.

Small people talk about other people.

I love it!!!!!!!!!!!!!! It reminds perpetrators that their poop does indeed stink.

Originally Posted by PeachPie viewpost.gif

After posting, I did try to change the title, but it only let me change the subject in the initial post.

You've never heard of a gossip hag? Trying to nitpick?

Hmmm...

Great people see the goal/main idea and strive toward it.

Small people nitpick, whine, and otherwise trip up progress.

So we're right back to where we were originally. You think calling people small, nitpickers, and whiners is lofty and mature? What was the point of changing the title if you were going to respond like this?

There is a big difference between describing behavior and calling names.

It's an important life skill to be able to separate who people are from what they do. If you can master this, you can stay loyal to the person even when they do/have done something that drives you bonkers.

Even when you don't feel all warm and fuzzy about someone, having this ability can allow you to retain some sense of connection when they frustrate you. Sometimes that is your only passport to communication. Or toleration, when solving problems isn't one of the choices.

Specializes in Case Management, Home Health, UM.
I have found ignoring annoying people works wonders. Both online and in real life.

Amen.

Specializes in Public Health, DEI.
There is a big difference between describing behavior and calling names.

It's an important life skill to be able to separate who people are from what they do. If you can master this, you can stay loyal to the person even when they do/have done something that drives you bonkers.

Even when you don't feel all warm and fuzzy about someone, having this ability can allow you to retain some sense of connection when they frustrate you. Sometimes that is your only passport to communication. Or toleration, when solving problems isn't one of the choices.

Sorry, but she specifically said ''small people'' engage in those behaviors. That is name calling, pure and simple.

Sorry, but she specifically said ''small people'' engage in those behaviors. That is name calling, pure and simple.

You think calling people small, nitpickers, and whiners is lofty and mature?

She didn't call people nitpickers and whiners. Only said that they did these things.

Some people ARE small of spirit. That's a recognition of an unfortunate reality and not necessarily an insult.

Maybe it's time to return to the original subject which was how to put a stop to gossiping when others start it.

Probably the most effective method is to keep the conversational tennis ball and not toss it back. It takes two (or more) to keep the gossip going. If you are not a receptive audience, it stops being fun.

"Did you hear that So-and-so got called into the NM's office for making too many personal phone calls?"

Response A: "Oooh. Did she get written up?"

Response B: "No. Do you know where the hand-held thermometer is?"

I think we project our willingness to participate.

Specializes in Public Health, DEI.
She didn't call people nitpickers and whiners. Only said that they did these things.

Some people ARE small of spirit. That's a recognition of an unfortunate reality and not necessarily an insult.

Maybe it's time to return to the original subject which was how to put a stop to gossiping when others start it.

Probably the most effective method is to keep the conversational tennis ball and not toss it back. It takes two (or more) to keep the gossip going. If you are not a receptive audience, it stops being fun.

"Did you hear that So-and-so got called into the NM's office for making too many personal phone calls?"

Response A: "Oooh. Did she get written up?"

Response B: "No. Do you know where the hand-held thermometer is?"

I think we project our willingness to participate.

I still don't see how saying that people nitpick and whine isn't the same as calling them nitpickers and whiners. That's a mighty fine line as far as I'm concerned. It doesn't seem to me to be less small of spirit to sit up on a high horse and judge another's behavior by using pejorative terms than it is to engage in gossip.

I still don't see how saying that people nitpick and whine isn't the same as calling them nitpickers and whiners. That's a mighty fine line as far as I'm concerned. It doesn't seem to me to be any smaller of spirit to sit up on a high horse and judge another's behavior by using pejorative terms than it is to engage in gossip.

Saying people nitpick and whine focuses on their behavior. Calling them nitpickers and whiners concentrates more on the person and locks them into a very limited definition.

I guess this is the heart of separating people from what they do.

Saying someone DOES something is just a fact and doesn't have to imply judgment. Labeling the PERSON takes things a step further.

Behavior should be fair game for discussion. A person's worth as a human being should not.

Specializes in Public Health, DEI.
Saying people nitpick and whine focuses on their behavior. Calling them nitpickers and whiners concentrates more on the person and locks them into a very limited definition.

I guess this is the heart of separating people from what they do.

Saying someone DOES something is just a fact and doesn't have to imply judgment. Labeling the PERSON takes things a step further.

Behavior should be fair game for discussion. A person's worth as a human being should not.

And the word ''small'' isn't labeling them, then?

And the word ''small'' isn't labeling them, then?

Perhaps, she should have said, "people who behave in a small-minded manner."

It seems unproductive to focus on a single word when doing so doesn't address her original question.

Specializes in Public Health, DEI.

I don't think going back to the original question is really such a good idea. How to shut people up? Hmmm...

I don't think going back to the original question is really such a good idea. How to shut people up? Hmmm...

Again, she might have used more a more tactful expression, but I think her meaning is clear. What can we as individuals do to reduce gossip in the workplace (or any place, for that matter)? This is a valid and worthwhile question. I give her credit for wanting to put a damper on a harmful behavior that is all too common.

Her wording wasn't perfect, but could we move past that and give the spirit of her question proper attention. I applaud anyone who wants to solve a problem or improve a negative situation.

Specializes in Tele, ICU, ER.

I do my VERY best to try to think of one thing that is good or that I like about each person I work with. In some places, it's been difficult, and luckily in my job now, it's not very hard.

But having something positive to say, I find, often nips oncoming gossip in the bud:

Person A: Did you hear that Nurse XYZ got written up for being late AGAIN?

Person B: Boy she really covered my butt yesterday when I was swamped! I sure was lucky to have her around...Do you know where the hand held thermometer is?

I do my VERY best to try to think of one thing that is good or that I like about each person I work with. In some places, it's been difficult, and luckily in my job now, it's not very hard.

But having something positive to say, I find, often nips oncoming gossip in the bud:

Person A: Did you hear that Nurse XYZ got written up for being late AGAIN?

Person B: Boy she really covered my butt yesterday when I was swamped! I sure was lucky to have her around...Do you know where the hand held thermometer is?

That's even better than my earlier suggestion. Let's the speaker know that you think kindly of their target and probably won't want to jump on the bashing bandwagon.

I'm glad you're finding it easier to think of good things about your co-workers in your current job. That, in itself, makes for a more hospitable climate.

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