Hey Youda...check this out!!!!

diddywah · Oct 31, 2002

Oh wow...as many or at least a few of you know,my sister is employed in a very hateful hospital...that's the nicest way I can put it... I was told by one of her fellow employees that one of her charge nurses was going about asking if anyone had smelled alcohol on my twin...I have visited and printed off everything that I could find on "bullying"...I have been so MAD!!!! My sis is the more calm of us and seems to think that the rumor was started by jealousy and will die on its own....no fuel for the fire ya know... she does not drink, never has, but loves that hand cleaner that is alcohol based...she says she will give them urine, blood whatever they ask...I on the other hand am ready to call a lawyer...defamation of character,you know...I am so very ready to set a legal precedent but sis will not go along wth me...she laughs about the situaton...I am getting applications from other hospitals for her...I am just flabberghasted that this crap goes on in the midst of a nursing shortage...

She is such a knowledgeable, caring nurse...

Can any of you help me get my anger under control??? I know I am emotionally involved because we are so close,but I would be getting involved if it were any of my co-workers...it just so happens we are twins...she took the phone book away from me last night while I was looking for lawyers...I AM SO MAD I COULD SPIT BUT WOULD SPIT SO MUCH I WOULD BECOME DEHYDRATED!!!!

ARRRRRRRRRRRRGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!

Thanks for listening to my latest rant !!!!

sjoe · Oct 31, 2002

Try aerobics.

sjoe · Oct 31, 2002

Try aerobics.

sanakruz, ADN · Oct 31, 2002

Call an attorney. Then call human resourses and tell them youve spoken with an attorney beacause you are concerned about a slanderous remark, because thats what it is and its not ok-( really call an attorney because i'm pretty damn sure about what i'm saying but hey I'm not an attorney) And where is Youda?

sanakruz, ADN · Oct 31, 2002

Call an attorney. Then call human resourses and tell them youve spoken with an attorney beacause you are concerned about a slanderous remark, because thats what it is and its not ok-( really call an attorney because i'm pretty damn sure about what i'm saying but hey I'm not an attorney) And where is Youda?

Youda · Oct 31, 2002

You folks are funny! :chuckle It's nice to be missed when I don't get online very much for a day or two, though. :kiss

I think I would first want to confront the nurse manager. Obviously some nitwit went running into her office and made a complaint. Then NM is perpetuating the rumour by running around asking everyone about it. So, you've got at least two people who need some talking to.

The NM might just be trying to do her job, and the person who reported it may be expressing a legitimate concern. If someone wrote here at allnurses that they were smelling alcohol on a coworker, we'd tell them to go report to the NM, wouldn't we?

The problem here, I think, is that it's not true. And, the NM is unwittingly spreading the rumour as she tries to investigate the complaint. I don't think I'd go into her office full of denials. But, I would ask her why she hadn't discussed it with me in the first place. I would want to know from the NM why she was so willing to give the complaint any validity, why she has such a low opinion of me and my work that she felt she even needed to investigate it without talking with me first. I would also be very, very direct and specific with her that her investigation methods were spreading the rumour and causing problems on the floor. I would also demand to have a meeting with the NM and the person who made the complaint in the first place (NM's rarely do this because they LIKE people coming into their office and telling them stuff so they don't have to get out on the floor and know what's going on out there!)

If that doesn't resolve it, I'd go up the ladder. At that point, be prepared for the next highest management person to already be firmly behind the NM, whether or not they've heard the rumour or not. But, you might get lucky and find someone who is willing to listen.

I'd document everything that's said. If I had my life to live over, I'd carry a little voice-activated tape recorder in my pocket.

One incident won't point to bullying. Two or three of them will, though. The biggest problem is that this all goes on behind your back, and by the time you become aware there's a smear campaign going on, every one of your co-workers have been poisoned against you as well as everyone up the ladder. Try to get it resolved and stopped at the beginning. The only cure for this is to be assertive and stick up for your rights. Silence and tolerance just makes it worse. Without opposition, bullies and rumours take on a life of their own, and if not stopped, will eventually cause your sis to lose her job.

Be sure and keep a journal. You might need it later.

Youda · Oct 31, 2002

You folks are funny! :chuckle It's nice to be missed when I don't get online very much for a day or two, though. :kiss

I think I would first want to confront the nurse manager. Obviously some nitwit went running into her office and made a complaint. Then NM is perpetuating the rumour by running around asking everyone about it. So, you've got at least two people who need some talking to.

The NM might just be trying to do her job, and the person who reported it may be expressing a legitimate concern. If someone wrote here at allnurses that they were smelling alcohol on a coworker, we'd tell them to go report to the NM, wouldn't we?

The problem here, I think, is that it's not true. And, the NM is unwittingly spreading the rumour as she tries to investigate the complaint. I don't think I'd go into her office full of denials. But, I would ask her why she hadn't discussed it with me in the first place. I would want to know from the NM why she was so willing to give the complaint any validity, why she has such a low opinion of me and my work that she felt she even needed to investigate it without talking with me first. I would also be very, very direct and specific with her that her investigation methods were spreading the rumour and causing problems on the floor. I would also demand to have a meeting with the NM and the person who made the complaint in the first place (NM's rarely do this because they LIKE people coming into their office and telling them stuff so they don't have to get out on the floor and know what's going on out there!)

If that doesn't resolve it, I'd go up the ladder. At that point, be prepared for the next highest management person to already be firmly behind the NM, whether or not they've heard the rumour or not. But, you might get lucky and find someone who is willing to listen.

I'd document everything that's said. If I had my life to live over, I'd carry a little voice-activated tape recorder in my pocket.

One incident won't point to bullying. Two or three of them will, though. The biggest problem is that this all goes on behind your back, and by the time you become aware there's a smear campaign going on, every one of your co-workers have been poisoned against you as well as everyone up the ladder. Try to get it resolved and stopped at the beginning. The only cure for this is to be assertive and stick up for your rights. Silence and tolerance just makes it worse. Without opposition, bullies and rumours take on a life of their own, and if not stopped, will eventually cause your sis to lose her job.

Be sure and keep a journal. You might need it later.

sjoe · Oct 31, 2002

It would not be either appropriate or useful for the original poster of this thread to call an attorney, talk to the NM, etc. Nothing happened to her and she has no legal claims regarding this matter whatever. It's really none of her business, which is why I answered her question about how to handle her pent-up anger by suggesting aerobics.

The suggestions above, however, would be useful for the person who actually experienced the slander or whatever she wants to call it. If she doesn't care enough, or thinks her twin is making a mountain out of a molehill, then she'll do nothing proactive about it, and rightly so.

As my late mother used to say: "Keep your nose on your own face."

IMHO.

(Youda--you didn't realize that you had a fan club, did you?)

sjoe · Oct 31, 2002

It would not be either appropriate or useful for the original poster of this thread to call an attorney, talk to the NM, etc. Nothing happened to her and she has no legal claims regarding this matter whatever. It's really none of her business, which is why I answered her question about how to handle her pent-up anger by suggesting aerobics.

The suggestions above, however, would be useful for the person who actually experienced the slander or whatever she wants to call it. If she doesn't care enough, or thinks her twin is making a mountain out of a molehill, then she'll do nothing proactive about it, and rightly so.

As my late mother used to say: "Keep your nose on your own face."

IMHO.

(Youda--you didn't realize that you had a fan club, did you?)

diddywah · Oct 31, 2002

yeah baby...I can deal with a voice activated recorder...I can ask sister to keep a journal...I am earnestly trying to behave myself and restrain the natural urge to protect her from these evil ppl. She is more restrained than I have ever been...I would have already made a point to confront the buggers...but then we have always had a problem with the differences in our personalities...

I must persuade her to become more assertive...

Thank you all for your replies...

Youda...you are sorely missed when not posting for a day or two..

:cool:

And sjoe, I am more than aerobicized...perhaps being overly concerned about this incident is just in my nature as the aggressive side of twindom...

I can only offer support and encouragement to her in this moment of trial by fire...she must do her own footwork and brainwork...I realize this, it is very clear. She is very concerned about the rumors because we have seen many a person's reputation destroyed by "talk" of those who are ignorant of the damage they can do. 'nuff said....

see yall in the hinterlands.

diddywah · Oct 31, 2002