Sorry folks but I really feel the need to blow off a little stress today. I just have to wonder if any of you have found yourself suffering healthwise because of a patient? Here is my problem. I have posted previously on the lady that yells constantly, the one we sent to a psych unit for evaluation. Well she's back and even louder than ever. My blood pressure is starting to climb, I think because of her. Normally it runs 122 over 76, not bad. Last night she was very loud and constant. We had a Mother's Day party for the residents and there were many guests. All of them were looking at her then they'd look at the staff and whisper like they just couldn't believe we weren't doing anything to help her. So, seeing this I started a 2 hour repeat conversation with the resident. She would yell "Help me!" I would say, What can I help you with?" She would say, "Nothing." I would say, "Why are you yelling then?" She would respond, "I don't know." I would ask her not to yell unless she needed something and then we would do whatever we could to help her. She would say, "Okay." and then immediately would yell again. I couldn't take her to her room because that isn't safe, also that is considered isolation and state says that's a no no. When I left last night my bp was 167 over 98 and I had a headache that was about to bust my head wide open. We even tried one on one, taking her for walks and talking to her, of which she yelled the whole time. I am very upset with myself that I am letting this situation get to me so badly. I take pride in what I do and it really upsets me that the visitors thought we were just ignoring her. I had to keep repeating this converstaion because the stream of people was constant and I wanted them to know we were trying. We have an order now to admit her the a permanant psych. facility as soon as one can be found that will accept her. I'm not sure my health will hold up that long. I woke up with the same nasty headache I went to bed with and my b/p is still very high. Yesterday the MD gave orders to change her meds with the intentions of "snowing" her until she leaves. So far, no effect BUT I have to tell you that goes against all I have come to believe in as a nurse. This is not how we are supposed to treat our residents but this choice was made because the other residents are starting to threaten her and even the quiet ones are getting in on it. I am afraid for her if she doesn't quiet down so I can see logically that increasing her meds is OUR only alternative since we have tried everything we can think of. I am starting to get upset with myself because yesterday I found myself thinking that I couldn't wait till she was gone. I have never had such thoughts before and I feel ashamed for thinking this. I am starting to cry at the drop of a hat and am not handling things very well. I have thought about asking my doc to put me on something to calm my nerves but really don't want to do that. Last night my hubby was on the hall with me as my QMA. He is so great and tried so hard to help the situation. He picked up a lot on my treatments and paperwork, just so I could sit with her. I'm not sure why I felt the need to post this. Maybe to confess my bad thoughts, or to try and blow off steam. I'm not sure. No response is expected, I guess I just needed to vent. I promise not to make a habit of my whining. Thanks for listening.
