FollowUp to "Things You Wish You Could Say To Your Coworkers"

Nurses General Nursing

Published

So how many of you actually do nicely, calmly, but maturely and professionally speak your mind at work? And how is it received?

how is it received? it depends.

if you're addressing a mature and professional coworker, it's usually received well. but there are some people that you just can't tell anything, regardless of how nicely. i refer to them as the crybabies -- any negative feedback makes them burst into tears and run to the manager claiming that "so and so is being mean to me!"

i actually witnessed this at work last weekend. persephone had called in sick every one of her weekend shifts for 3 months. she showed up for work last saturday, and was in a pretty chipper mood until about noon when she started complaining that this hurt and that hurt because she'd had a procedure earlier in the week and she really didn't feel well and should go home. the charge nurse (let's call her antigone) asked her what procedure she'd had done (in a calm, pleasant tone of voice) and persephone jumped up and snarled at her "that's none of your damned business, and if you persist in asking me personal questions i'll have you in the manager's office so fast your lips will still be flapping."

whoa! i was just around the corner, and although antigone knew i was there, persephone did not. persephone then went on to shout "you're just the charge nurse, you're not my boss. my personal life is none of your damned business, and you know it. you don't care about me, so why are you even asking?" antigone moved the conversation to the supply room with the door shut, so i didn't hear the rest. but on monday the story came back to me: "did you hear that antigone attacked persephone in the nurse's station in front of everyone? antigone was so mean to her, she made persephone cry!"

first off, i was the only person around, and persephone didn't even know i was there. second, the only attack i heard was where persephone attacked antigone. third, the only meanness or disrespect i heard was persephone going off on antigone. i did see persephone crying, though -- not for any good reason that i could ascertain.

antigone would have been in trouble for "attacking" persephone, had i not written up what i observed and turned it in.

maybe dr. frankenstein didn't use enough electricity in his latest experiment on her. sheesh! what the freak?

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For me it depends on the person and the situation...if it's a person I KNOW is gonna start crying, etc...it's just not worth it as far as I'm concerned...however, if it's a situation that directly affects patient safety, I hope they've got their big girl knickers on 'cause I can't keep my trap shut! lol But I'm not rude...just very matter-of-fact...

I did eventually have to intervene with my co-worker who was ALWAYS on the phone at the Pyxis machine...her response at the time was 'Well I'm not hurting you, am I?' My response was 'Not really, but you are holding me up, and there's no way you can be totally focused on what drugs you're taking out if you're talking to Sweetie.' So she now calls him at the nurse's station before med pass...and when med pass is finished...and before lunch...and after lunch...and before report...and after report...*sigh*...

This needs to be told to the manager. The number of calls is ridiculous and the lack of focus on the job is dangerous. Not acceptable.

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I have had several instances of being belittled by a ward clerk that I really want to pull my hair out. She is the type of person who makes snide comments while walking away from you and her mood changes every five minutes.

I am frustrated mainly because I have not confronted her yet. Just a few days ago I was arranging transport on a commercial flight for a post op patient (less than 72 hours) and her husband. Typically we dont fly out patients spouses, but she was being discharged early, and he was going to escort her. The ward clerk said "well that is really pushing it." I siad it was appriopiate and there was a doctor order, all she had to do was fax the request to travel. Then she says, "Well you are incapable of understanding it." (while walking away). I just said yeah right. I was upset but tired from the long shift.

Now it is a couple of days later and I am furious and fed up. This is not the first time she has made snide comments like this and I am really tired of it. Everyone else puts up with it.

How would you handle this?

I would calm down and plan what to say and then invite her for a soda after work and try to talk with her. Or you can skip the invite but try to befriend her and don't bother trying to talk to her, just get her over to your side. She sounds kind of mentally unwell, unstable. Borderline personality disorder? Paranoid PD?

I fear that you will explode at her and say a lot of things in anger that you will regret if you don't speak up soon and at least try to get her to be your "friend".

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Specializes in LTC.

my supervisor has issues with being wrong and then doing "paybacks" - sometimes very nasty ones - she constantly belittles everyone that works on the unit, and thinks that the only important thing in patient care if is they have a bowel movement every day " or impending issues will occur" - now how easy could it be to say please or thank you for something, instead of barking orders and being generally nasty - she is the reason that i have started looking for work elsewhere - i know what i would like to tell her, but i value my job too much :lol2:

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Specializes in Peds, ER/Trauma.
So the chewed stuff coming back out didn't give her a clue. :uhoh21:

The whole eating with an NG tube in would be very handy for someone wanting to be bulimic, but not wanting to puke! I could just sit around all day and eat my favorite foods one after another, and still lose weight! ;)

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Specializes in Community Health, Med-Surg, Home Health.

I have been very silent at this time at work, because I am employeed at the same clinic I worked in as a patient care associate, but as an LPN now. There were many 'hidden' aspects of being a nurse that I was unaware of before, and now, the behaviors I see of my co-workers that I used to look up to has disappointed me. I do find small ways to say what I need, but it is hard for me because I used to be more vocal, but that was when I had less to lose. Now, I find myself thinking deeply before I respond or react.

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Specializes in ER OB NICU.

As HS, I do have to address issues, but I always do it in private, I don't discuss anybody with anybody else. I do have to make inquiries, to settle disputes, but do so discreetly. I don't make threats, and try to reach compromises, where everybody involved feels resolved. One reason I was hired as HS over people with 10 more years experience at the same institution. I also am not fearful of ramifications, when it becomes necessary to intervene with a physcian. I respect my co workers, staff, and treat them with respect. NOT to say, I have NEVER raised my voice. THere are times about 15 hours into a 12 hour shift, and somebody has complained non stop about any and everything, that I have been known to say. THAT IS ENOUGH!!!!. When it happens, people get really quiet. When I first came to that hospital, I trained everywhere from pharacy, to surgery, to Sp, L&D

I think the most important way is to communicate with respect. Never threatening, condescending, or ridiculing those with whom you are having discussions.

Job titles, often make some people take offense, before the discussion even starts. I have more trouble with co workers, where one has advanced and go on to higher level of education, and previous co workers resent.

Never be afraid to ask (confront gives off neg. conotations without even talking) for clarification. If you feel somebody has an issue that needs to resolve, before it becomes a giant misunderstanding. Remember that you are not somebody elses punching bag, nor are you their's .Look beyond that which is apparent.

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Ruby - I'm so glad that you heard what you did and were able to bear witness!

How do people like that get away with it? She's called in EVERY weekend - as far as I'm concerned, she should be fired!

AMEN - If you can't find the time to do your job, find a new one!! I can't believe the hospital puts up with that kind of behavior!

Ruby, So glad that you chose to protect your co-worker!

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