eating disordered nurses

[freetobeme]

I am not exactly sure what I want to say, but I was wondering if there is anyone else out there that struggles in this area.

I am a nursing student with one year completed. I have struggled for the past 10 years with an eating disorder, anorexia and bulimia. This is not something I want to continue. I hate the comments from people regarding my size (have a BMI of 16), and yes I do want to gain weight/get stronger. I am not actually physically compromised, lab results are fine and such. But I do realize it may just be a matter of time if I don't stop before my K+ drops too low.

I do not talk about this with anyone in my program, although they may suspect. I do very well in school this issue has somewhat hindered my study habits, but not to the point of being in danger of not passing.

I guess I am just afraid, I thought that I would have gotten things under wraps by this time. I don't want to go to my pinning knowing I am a fraud, about to embark on a career where I will be providing care for others and am not giving that to myself.

So again, I don't know what my point really was other than to reach out and see if there was anyone out there that relates or has some advice. I apologize for using the forum as a sounding board, but I feel so alone in this.

[royr]

I feel that you can indeed give excellent care to others. Who knows a heath problem better than someone who lives with it day by day? I did not even realise that I myself have an eating disorder until I became a nursing student. It seems that, according to one of my teachers, getting up in the middle of the night, leaving the house and "sleep eating" and returning home to bed non the wiser is in fact an eating disorder. I have been doing this for years and never realized it until my wife, helping me study for a midterm exam said - hey - you do that when you are stressed out - and I follow you around to keep you safe. She said she never realized that I was asleep when I do that until about 10 years ago, about a year after our marriage, she was helping me get undressed and back into bed and I said - leave me alone lady - I'm married now! and I went to bed with my pants on. I was so surprised - I never knew this until last week. Go figure. Nursing school really teaches you about yourself, no matter how late in life you start.

[lannisz]

I struggled for 15 years with Bulimia and compulsive eating. What finally stopped the cycle for me was treatment with an antidepressant. Once my brain chemistry was changed, the binge eating behaviors simply stopped. It was like night and day...something just switched off in my brain and I haven't had a problem since. It was amazing. My family must have a biochemical propensity because my sister also has struggled for years with an eating disorder but she refuses to get treatment.