does working with 'ill and infirm' depress you ever?

Nurses General Nursing

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fellow rn lpn cna: probably a silly question but do you ever get depressed working around "sick" people (adults, teens, infants, pedi's) for several hours a day many days a week? or guilty that you get to leave the hospital/ltc at end of shift on a holiday and the patients do not?

how bout psych nurses are or critical care nurses are you specially prepared or learn from your colleagues?

howoften does this cross your mind and how do you deal with it? do you just say to yourself 'at least im here to help', ignore it, cry about it, vent it out, see a counselor or eat a pint of ben n jerry's?

just would like to read your thoughts thanks!

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Specializes in LTC.

I don't feel bad most of the time. because i am one person who is actually doing something about it. Of course i see cases that make me very upset. but over all, i remember that nurses truly are heros, and this makes me work even harder to help people. :)

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thank you lpnwheezy. i know during the course of a day we see things that are really upsetting. it just seems crazy to think about it sometimes that we in healthcare have to normalize things that are very abnormal on a daily basis and how over time that effects a person

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Specializes in LTC.

yeah, but these things are normal! its just slipped under the rug. Be optimistic and feel proud that you can use your hands to heal someone. I get sad a lot in situations i can't control, like when a child was abused- because i cannot rewind the past. Once i met a woman who was my age, and had lupus, who was going to die. and i am thankful of what i have everyday because of people like her. i'll never take advantage my ability to walk, see, hear, feel, taste, or think. I believe being exposed to this can make you a better person :) i'm a true optimist haha.

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Specializes in Vents.

I can't say that I get "mad, upset, or sad" for my pts because I focus on helping them and making them as comfortable as possible. Ofcourse I question myself @ the end of every shift while driving home. Did I do everything I can for this person? What could I have done differently? Better, even. The moments I get mad about are the times when I am trying to help a non-compliant pt who continuously refuses care when I know the care I'm trying to provide would help them heal or help ease the pain/disc. Or when I watch a pt suffer more than any1 deserves and I know that I have done EVERYTHING I can (and the MD has done everything s/he can) for the pt and NOTHING helps. I guess what I'm saying gets to me are all the things that life throws @ you that are beyond your control.

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Specializes in Med Surge, Tele, Oncology, Wound Care.

I work oncology and yes it affects me.

It affects me when a 35 year old comes in with back pain to find out they have metastatic colon cancer. They have a family, young children and it really brings things home for me as I am a new mommy of a 6 month old.

Sometimes I get in the car and cry on my way home.

Our Oncologists tell us "take your feelings for the patient and leave them at home." "Keep your opinions of this patients care to yourself, you are getting in the middle of me and my patient." (only after the MD was notified that the patient was up all night crying saying "I cant do this anymore I need to talk to my doctor."

This doctor still prescribed chemo for the patient (after the patient was confronted in front of her husband regaring her medical care, which she agreed to continue recieving because in front of her husband she would do anything).

We are only human.

We lost 3 oncology patients in two weeks and the entire staff is having a hard time.

We have a therapist who comes and gives grief counseling to us when we have a hard time with a patients death.

I wonder if I can keep on working on this floor. I know I am here for a reason, but it is so hard mentally and emotionally.

Then I go home and look at my 6 month old and all of the sadness falls away and my smile returns.

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Specializes in Vents.

rKitty, Bless you! I deal with death and dying on a daily basis, but it is expected. My pts have lived their lives. Hopefully they had a long, happy life, but atleast they lived it. You see pts of EVERY age range and background and know that a good portion of your pts have barely begun to live and are facing death too soon! I couldn't do that! I know for a fact I can't ever do that b/c how can I look a mother in the eyes knowing that her 6 mo old baby won't make it yet mine did. Yes, I had to look cancer in the eyes of MY own child. She was 2 weeks old when she was diagnosed c a brain tumor. 6 mo old when the Dr was able to perform surgery. She is (Thank God) a happy, healthy, and CA Free 9 yr old! So again, I applaud you and everything you do. I know for me personally I would have such a guilt in my heart being allowed to hold my personal miracle everyday while another family is burying theirs. Lots of love for all that you do!

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Specializes in LTC.
thank you lpnwheezy. i know during the course of a day we see things that are really upsetting. it just seems crazy to think about it sometimes that we in healthcare have to normalize things that are very abnormal on a daily basis and how over time that effects a person

IMO, I guess I view death as a normal part of life. I work LTC and most of the people I see are older. After watching some families, I strongly feel that there is a right way and a wrong way to die. Death is part of life, and the way you face death is at least as important as the way you face life. I wish some families who want all heroic measures done could be with their loved one 24/7 and see what they endure. Death can be a release. I hate it when a family asks you "How long will this take?" Only God knows, although some nurses I know will predict!! I've seen enough to know that you don't know. If it were a younger person who may not have lived as long as some, that bothers me. A century ago most people died at home surrounded and cared for by loved ones. Somehow American society has shifted to a mindset that Death is is be avoided as long as possible and that it is somehow "abnormal". My job is to comfort the family and the resident and smooth the way, answer questions, and be there for them. Just my 2 cents worth.

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Specializes in Home Health/Hospice.

I think of the joy that I give to those patients. I think of the fact that I am the patients advocate and will fight for those patients comfort needs, and I'm proud of that. Yes, it's sad, but if you think about it for too long it becomes depressing. You have to separate yourself to a degree. You have to just realize that it's life without becoming cold to it. Some nurses become cold and distant and I don't like that. Be empathetic and not sympathetic. Don't think about it too long,and leave it all behind when you clock out.

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Specializes in CVICU, anesthesia.

Yes, it affects me. I get emotional when I lose a patient, and I get attached to my patients. Other nurses have looked down on me for how attached I get, but I have no apologies for caring. Honestly, I don't think I'm going to make it long on the unit I am on because it really wears me down sometimes. I do cry on my way home from work sometimes, and I worry about my patients when I'm at home. It's not good for me and I know I'm going to get burned out over it...but the nurses who last many years in my unit seem to not care and don't get emotional. It's a tough balance...I want to be a compassionate nurse, but I'm getting sick of worrying about my patients when I'm at home. It can definitely be tough.

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