Disgusted with my behavior, need help

Nurses General Nursing

Published

I am a new graduate, and I worked as an aide prior to finishing my BSN. I have been at my new job for 2 months now, and I am nowhere near capable of working alone. Several individuals (who happen to be techs/aides) have complained to my superiors that I am condescending. This breaks my heart.... I have the utmost respect for everyone I work with, ESPECIALLY techs... I feel like I am the scum of the earth, and I don't deserve this job.

I have no right to make other people feel badly... I have no right to convey anything but respect and kindness. I did not realize that my facial expressions, tone, and body language were conveying otherwise.

I intend on apologizing in person to those who voiced unhappiness with me...

but if you were that person, how would you respond?

I feel as if these individuals will always remember that I hurt them.. and all I want to do is convey that I respect them, value them, and am deeply sorry for the way I made them feel.

Help.

:(

Specializes in Travel Nursing, ICU, tele, etc.

You should definitely be very proud! That is awesome that you are getting public recognition already!

Please don't be overly apologetic when you speak to those aids. I would say something simple like, I'm sorry I hurt your feelings, please be patient with me while I'm new around here. I'm a little stressed out sometimes. Or something simple and to the point, don't grovel and if you ask them to be patient with you, that will point out that some of the responsibility lies with them and for supporting you in this process.

Wow, I am truly impressed that you are receiving acknowledgment already! Believe me, your superiors are noting that as well!!! Good job!

I just want to clarify a few details- I did not work here as an aide prior to becoming an RN; I did my preceptorship at the end of my BSN here.

Also, the chain of events was as follows: Techs complained to CNS, CNS told my preceptor, preceptor passed it on to me... and gave me a brief talking to about how I'm not too good to "clean up poop!" in her words, and how she'd like me to apologize.... I have never, EVER refused to do my job, whether it be a dirty task or not. I go out of my way to get bedpan-type tasks done so the busy techs don't have to.

I'm beginning to feel as if perhaps I don't mesh as well with these people as I thought I did. :(

I guess I misunderstood "and I worked as an aide prior to finishing my BSN....."

I had difficulties with preceptors as well.

I'm with the others: don't let them run you off until you talk it out. I would add, stay calm, stay nice--you don't want to burn any bridges, no matter what the outcome.

Lots of us have squirrelly experiences on our first jobs as RN's, so you are not alone! But there is a lot to be gained but toughing it out and sticking with it.

Hang in there. Smile. Be helpful. Be agreeable. Be flexible.

And if it really is too much, then quietly look for another position elsewhere.....

But I hope you stay--you may be surprised at how you grow through this experience!

It's hard to go from being a fellow CNA to being essentially an RN who is now responsible for supervising and occasionally directing your peers. Especially if they're your friends.

A couple things to remember...

1: They are a CNA and you are the nurse. While with their experience they may make very good assessments of changes in condition, they are not qualified to make actual "assessments," so ultimately if something with a pt changes, you are responsible for assessing and taking action. Sometimes, things that look more serious to a CNA are not as serious from a nurse POV. This coming from someone who started as a CNA... the more I learned, the more I realized that some things weren't as "critical" as they seemed.

2: Yes, a nurse can do everything a CNA can. So can we answer call lights and empty bedpans? Heck yeah. But when the to-do list includes also inserting a foley on pt A, an NG in pt B, and drawing ABGs on pt C... well... the bedpan needs to be addressed by the CNA. Nurses can do everything a CNA can, but CNAs cannot do everything a nurse can. So generally the nurse's responsibilities must be addressed first. It's not condescending to ask a CNA to toilet a patient unless you're sitting at the nurse's station with your feet up and a magazine in hand with nothing else to do. And the same goes the exact other way around (I've had CNAs at a nursing home I work PRN at ask me why I'm changing incontinent pt's beds -- "the other nurses don't do that" -- I figure if I have nothing else to do from 11pm and 3am, it's definitely not above me to help out, regardless of what it is that needs to be done).

Specializes in Telemetry, Oncology, Progressive Care.
I just want to clarify a few details- I did not work here as an aide prior to becoming an RN; I did my preceptorship at the end of my BSN here.

Also, the chain of events was as follows: Techs complained to CNS, CNS told my preceptor, preceptor passed it on to me... and gave me a brief talking to about how I'm not too good to "clean up poop!" in her words, and how she'd like me to apologize.... I have never, EVER refused to do my job, whether it be a dirty task or not. I go out of my way to get bedpan-type tasks done so the busy techs don't have to.

I'm beginning to feel as if perhaps I don't mesh as well with these people as I thought I did. :(

I'm sorry but I don't see what you have to apologize for. Did you know this pt needed to be cleaned and you just didn't do it and left it for the aide without telling them? Sometimes as a nurse there are more pressing things than getting a person cleaned up at the present time. I'm not saying you let them sit there all day in poop but this is where you do your prioritizing. I can't tell you how many days I am having to reprioritize what I am doing and yes I have had to have a pt wait a few minutes.

I'd think twice before I apologized to this person. I however would tell them if there was ever anything they needed help with they just need to ask. I think if you apologize they know they can get away with this.

Kelly

Specializes in floor to ICU.

Yeah, I'm a nurse, and so are you, and aides don't need malpractice insurance. You have a difficult job with a ton of responsibility; your patients count on you. I don't suppose there's anything wrong with taking a momnet to reflect whether you may be conveying an attitude you don't intend, but as others have suggested, you patients are your first responsibility, and any aide whose opinion is worth considering will understand that.

:yeahthat:

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