Bit of humor

[LydiaRN]

While visiting the Nsg Spectrum Board I came across this. Wanted to share with all.

We need a good laugh here and there.

Thanks Tim for sharing it with us.

Subject: Nurses

> You believe every patient needs TLC: thorazine, lorazepam, and > compazine. > > You hope there's a special place in Hell for the inventor of the call light. > > Your bladder expands roughly to the same capacity as a Winnebago's

> water tank. > > You believe the gene pool could use a little chlorine. > > You see stress as a normal way of life. > > You have a tendency to laugh at your patients "big" problem. > > Your sense of humor seems more "warped" each year. > > You think pizza, cookies, and a coke make a balanced meal. > > You believe that saying "It can't get worse"....causes it to get worse > just to show you it can. > > You refer to a newborn as a F.L.K. & the parents as F.L.P. > > You have ever wolfed down a sandwich while emptying your bladder. > > You wash your hands BEFORE you go to the bathroom. > > You believe PIA (Pain in the ass) is an acceptable admitting diagnosis. > > You have ever referred to an intoxicated patient as a FORD (Found On > Road Drunk). > > You don't mention the name of frequent flyers so as not to invoke > his/her spirt to bring him/her in. > > Not only does your watch tell time, but it has a pulse timer that will > count in 5, 10, 15, 30, and 60 second intervals and will take your blood > pressure. > > You call burn victims "crispy critters". > > You have a recurring nightmare of being hit & run over by the portable > X-ray machine. > > You've ever had a patient look you dead in the eye & say, "I don't know > how that got stuck in there." > > You have ever had a patient say, "I'm not pregnant, I can't be pregnant! > I can't be having a baby!" > > You say to yourself, "Great Veins!" when looking at complete strangers > in the grocery store. > > You've ever bet on someone's blood alcohol level. > > You believe in the aerial spraying of prozac. > > You think the ER waiting room should have a Valium salt lick. > > You know it's a full moon without looking at the sky. > > You have ever had to deal with someone who thinks being constipated for 4 hours is an emergency. >>

[ceworden]

LOVE IT!!!!!!!

Thought of a couple of other things that I have personally expieranced----

When the EMT's call in a say they have a "DRT"--Dead Right There.

Before washing your hands you make sure you have copied off all the notes you wrote. Same applies to changing an exam table.

You discover that the corner of a sheet and silk tape tends to quite the aggrogant drunk...just do not impede the airway!!!

Chocolate is your main food group.

Your uniform pants become an instant note pad.

Maybe some others can come up with some more. We all need to laugh now and then!!!

MNM---A Step for Our Future, 2001

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CEWorden, LPN

Proud to be a Nurse

[[email protected]]

What a hoot. How many times have we fallen into bed after the shift from hell, only to be awakened by the phone, and answer it: "4-West, Miss Martin", like Pavlov's dog?

[Jay-Jay, RN]

Here's a couple from the community nurse's perspective:

You know the streets in your area well enough to moonlight as a taxi cab driver.

You have mastered the skill of driving in heavy traffic while wolfing down a sandwich and checking your street map guide.

You could set up a CADD pump (mini-IV pump that fits in a belt pack) in your sleep, and frequently have.

Your idea of a good time is an IV restart party at your weekly Team Meeting.

Your idea of fine dining is getting to sit down in Tim Horton's/McDonalds instead of going to the takeout window.

If you don't own a cell phone, you have memorized the location of every indoor payphone in your area. You even have a special blacklist of the ones that have been vandalized and don't work.

You think your pager's going off even when you're not wearing it.

You think that working 10 hours a day and only getting paid for 7 or 8 is perfectly normal.

The trunk of your car looks like you raided a hospital supply room.

You think that caffeine should be available in IV form.