Funny - Why is it that people say they.............

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:bugeyes:Why is it that people say they "slept like a baby" when babies wake up

every two hours?

If a deaf person has to go to court, is it still called a hearing?

Why do we press harder on a remote control when we know the batteries

are flat?

Why do banks charge a fee on "insufficient funds" when they know there

is not enough?

Why does someone believe you when you say there are four billion stars,

but check when you say the paint is wet?

Why do they use sterilized needles for death by lethal injection?

Why doesn't Tarzan have a beard?

Why does Superman stop bullets with his chest, but ducks when you throw

a revolver at him?

Why do Kamikaze pilots wear helmets?

Whose idea was it to put an "S" in the word "lisp"?

What is the speed of darkness?

Are there reserved parking spaces for "normal" people at the Special

Olympics?

If the temperature is zero outside today and it's going to be twice as

cold tomorrow, how cold will it be?

If it's true that we are here to help others, what are the others doing

here? Do married people live longer than single ones or does it only

seem longer?

Do you cry under water?

How is it that we put man on the moon before we figured out it would be

a good idea to put wheels on luggage?

Why do people pay to go up tall buildings and then put money in

binoculars to look at things on the ground?

Did you ever stop and wonder......

Who was the first person to look at a cow and say, "I think I'll

squeeze these pink dangly things here, and drink whatever comes out?"

Who was the first person to say, "See that chicken there... I'm gonna

eat the next thing that comes outta it's bum."

Why do toasters always have a setting so high that could burn the toast

to a horrible crisp, which no decent human being would eat?

Why is there a light in the fridge and not in the freezer?

Why do people point to their wrist when asking for the time, but don't

point to their bum when they ask where the bathroom is?

Why does your Obstetrician, Gynaecologist leave the room when you get

undressed if they are going to look up there anyway ?

Why does Goofy stand erect while Pluto remains on all fours? They're

both dogs !

Can blind people see their dreams? Do they dream ??

If quizzes are quizzical, what are tests? (This one kills me !!!!)

If corn oil is made from corn, and vegetable oil is made from

vegetables, then what is baby oil made from ?

If electricity comes from electrons, does morality come from morons ?

Why do the Alphabet song and Twinkle, Twinkle Little Star have the same

tune?

Stop singing and read on . . .. . . . . . . .

Do illiterate people get the full effect of Alphabet Soup?

Did you ever notice that when you blow in a dog's face, he gets mad at

you, but when you take him on a car ride, he sticks his head out the

window? Does pushing the elevator button more than once make it arrive

faster?

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Specializes in ER/ICU/Flight.

and what happens if you get scared half to death....twice?

if your car travels at the speed of light, will your headlights work?

I have HD-ADD, it's hard for me to pay attention but when I do it's incredibly clear.

here's a joke one of the nephrologists (usually dry subject material) told us this am:

an elderly couple were sitting around on the porch one morning. the man looked at his wife and asked "Whatever happened to our sexual relationship?"

The lady stopped what she was doing and replied, "I don't know...we didn't even get a Christmas card from him this year!"

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Specializes in midwifery, NICU.
and what happens if you get scared half to death....twice?

if your car travels at the speed of light, will your headlights work?

I have HD-ADD, it's hard for me to pay attention but when I do it's incredibly clear.

here's a joke one of the nephrologists (usually dry subject material) told us this am:

an elderly couple were sitting around on the porch one morning. the man looked at his wife and asked "Whatever happened to our sexual relationship?"

The lady stopped what she was doing and replied, "I don't know...we didn't even get a Christmas card from him this year!"

:cheers::rotfl: great posts, these last two!

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ROFL!!! :rotfl:

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