Funny Sign In Slips

[TraumaInTheSlot]

Some ER's have patients who walk in to triage fill out a triage slip with name and chief complaint. they are always interesting due to misspellings and funny things that people write. care to share some funny ones with us?

ill go first, one girl wrote as her symptoms...."east infection"

[chadash]

rectal humor is always funny.

my personal fav. "i got out of the shower and got hungry. it was early and no one else was up so i snuck outside and slipped in the garden and that is how the zucchini got stuck up there"

another classic was a man in his 70's said he was at work and developed diarrhea. so not wanting to leave work decided to stick a lightbulb (big end first) into his bum so that he could finish his shift. after the xray he decided to sign out AMA. we all thought he'd be back within hours "but" he never did.

Maybe he got a better idea:idea:

at any time during his stay, did he burst into a chorus of "you light up my life"?

[santhony44, MSN, RN, NP]

A lady whose legs hurt from her "various veins." (Clinic, not ER).

[nursejennie76]

OK got this one in Triage a couple weeks ago-------------------

SIS IN MY VIRGINIA(or cyst in my lady parts maybe????)

[nursejennie76]

OK got this one in Triage a couple weeks ago-------------------

SIS IN MY VIRGINIA (or cyst in my lady parts maybe????)

[Miss Calculation]

Pain in my virginia.....

[Miss Calculation]

Oh--almost forgot another one we still laugh about: Golf ball in lady parts.

[Miss Calculation]

"barfing diarrhea" :chuckle

AKA---#3

[PedsER-RN, BSN, RN]

we don't have them write their complaints down, so when it comes time to determine what they're trying to say, sometimes it's a challenge.

some examples:

"he's been vomicking all his motrix" (he's been vomiting motrin)

"i gots the fevers"

"he smashed his finger in the door. if it's not fractured, it's at least broken" (ok.......)

"the fevers barely started 20 minutes ago" (spoken with a very thick spanish accent)

my all time favorite:

"i don't have a thermometer so i put my hand in front of the oven and it was on 350 and then i felt her head and it felt the same so her fever's 350".

it was a little hard to keep a straight face with the last one....

[PedsER-RN, BSN, RN]

rectal humor is always funny.

my personal fav. "i got out of the shower and got hungry. it was early and no one else was up so i snuck outside and slipped in the garden and that is how the zucchini got stuck up there"

quote]

haha....reminds me of a similar story my bro told me (er nurse also) about a guy who was supposedly making a salad and fell onto a cucumber. what he was doing making a salad naked and how the cucumber stood on it's end -never got the answer to that!

[JessicRN]

The Texas favorite "he got them trots agin an he is trayin to get dehadrated"

[EDNURSEANGEL]

My all time favorite...

"My cat be drippin"

That would be lady partsl discharge. After a night at "work":barf01:

Or "sick to my stomach after eating a "nut"

We had to make sure that the fast track doctor for the day who's first language is not English that a "nut" is not an actually nut.

Last night the complaint was difficulty urinating. Pt had actually masturbated his member raw and it burned when he peed.

My favorites are the psych pts who manage to act normally until about 75% through triage and make 1 comment that makes you change everything.

Little old lady telling me about the ringing in her ears, headache... the whole thing is beliveable up til she says it goes "ding dong, ding dong." "Ok ma'ma, just have a seat in the waiting room and we will get to you as soon as we can."

Angel

[Darlene K.]

My all time favorite...

My favorites are the psych pts who manage to act normally until about 75% through triage and make 1 comment that makes you change everything.

Angel

Got a love it!