randomnamees 40 Posts Mar 10, 2000 PEDIATRICS Vol.89 No.6June 1992 Most Interesting Chief Complaints-Drank the dog's milk - from the dog's nipple-Needs a circumcision beacause his tonsild/adenoids are so big-Can't find baby's birthmark-Placed tooth under pillow - now lodged in right ear-Piece of bologna string hanging from anus-Problem with his manlihood-Baby is afraid of his hands-Needs anus muscles checked - has been straining-Sprayed hairspray all over bathroom - then threw up from smellSuspicious - Sounding Chief Complaints-Fell out of infancy-Lump down his tentacle-Needs a mental extraction-Romantic fever-Cereal palsy-Sick as hell anemia-Scrap throat-Swollen asteroidsQuestions Asked-Hello, I would like to schedule an emergency.-Does St. Christopher's carry breast milk?-May I speak to Mr. Dimetapp?-My baby can't breathe. What time can I bring her in?-Is it alright for a 2 year old to fly if he's constipated?-Is there such a thing as a birth control vibrator?-My little girl kissed a dead chicken. Should I bring her in?-Should a 5 year old be wiping his own butt?Other Amazing Things Said by ParentsNurse: How do you know he has a stomachache-he's only 2 months old?"Mother: "Because a lady who had her period held him on her stomach".--Doctor, to mother of child drinking soda and eating candy "That isn't a good idea for a child with his problem."Mother - "Well, I certainly don't want my child vomiting on an empty stomach!"--Doctor: "What kind of convulsions has he had in the past?"Mother: "Oh, he vomits once and then runs around the house chasing the cat".--Doctor: "Give him 3 baby aspirins every 4 hours for the fever". Mother: "I would but my other 2 kids ate the bottle of aspirin at home this afternoon".--Mother of a 12 year old girl with abdominal pain: "I don't think it's the you-know-what. She ain't a virgin yet".--Nurse: "How did you hurt your leg?"Boy: "I was break dancing last night and I think the break broke me".-- 0 Likes