Funniest thing a new nurse said/charted/asked...

[RN12345656]

Recently, while orienting a new nurse to the floor, I was reviewing her charting. She charted scrotal edema as..." Scrotal edema the size of a large baking potatoe". I couldn't help but laugh :rotfl:

Anyone else care to share their story?

[LeesieBug]

I was pitching in to help out another nurse by discharging one of her patients in the ED. Well, when looking through the paper work and orders, I just saw lots of stuff about an oozing rash, a blood test I didn't recognize, and a standard d/c write up on dermatitis. So I cruise in the room and proceed to do my d/c teaching about cool compresses for itching, keeping the area clean, avoid scratching, etc....the couple seemed to be looking at me a bit funny....especially when I got to the part about rubbing some lotion on to keep the skin moist.

I go back to the nurses station and they are discussing the blood test I failed to identify....an RPR...for syphilis...and there I was rambling on telling him about putting compresses and lotion on his winky.

[mytoon38]

The most stupid thing I ever heard was while I was working in the NB Nsy. The baby was brought into the Nsy, the dad accompanied the baby in. I take the baby out of the isolette, and place him on the radiant heat warmer. The dad looks the baby over and then tells me "Nurse, I can tell you right now that can't be my son." I asked him why he thought that. He then stated "Because he's got a big old weenie, and it don't look nothing like mine does!" The 2 other nurses in the unit, were trying desperately to hold in their laughter!

[nursemn]

i had an alzheimer's patient ask me what chlamidia is, i just said do you know what an std is and he said yeah i left it at that

[muffie, RN]

My most embarrassing nursing story......(so far....)

Bear with me, it's a good one!

I was a nursing student in a placement in OR. That night I was working with "Dr. S", who is notorious for yelling at & belittling everybody. He calls the nurses "Woman!" and when I worked with him last, he had been throwing intruments down on the tables, and winging sponges across the room in a fit.

Well, that night we are doing an emergency surgery. I am the scrub nurse for a laprosopic proceedure, holding a net and the camera. He's in a ROTTEN mood, things are not going well, I'm nervous, he's impatient, things are tense. You get the picture.

and then it happens....

I felt a strange draft, and realized with a sinking feeling that my size XXXXXL hospital-provided uniform bottoms have fallen off and are down around my ankles. And, being scrub, there is NOTHING I can do about it.

It's not like they slipped lower & lower on my hips. They were there, then they were gone.

I inadvertently said "WHOA!" and looked down. The surgery stopped. Everyone looked at me. Dr. S. started panicing and saying "What have you dropped, Woman?!"

I tried to say "nothing, it's okay, carry on!", but he was insistant...and I had to tell this big, fierce, bushy-eyebrowed, angry guy what happened.

Him: "I SAID, what did you drop?"

Me: "I dropped my pants"

I think the room shook because everyone laughed so hard. It was very humilliating. Every person there had tears cuz they were laughing so hard. I was redder than red. The circ had to be called in so that she could kneel down behind me, reach carefully under my sterile gown, and pull my pants up for me.

No, it was NOT a good underware day either.

Sadly, this is the second time in nursing school that my pants have been around my ankles (the first time they were pulled down by a mean old lady in a care home). I'm afriad this is starting to become a career danger.

very very funny thank you

[brendamyheart]

My first day as a Brand New RN with the new RN shine, well, I am shadowing my preceptor, she intorduces me to a pt and tells me to listen to his chest, hoping I would hear the faint murmur. Well the patient is depressed and saddened, so I listin, I look at my preceptor and with the straightest face, tell her I hear a heartbeat. The pt just bursts into laughter.

I use humor in my practice a lot. A husband and wifre were arguing. Husband told the wife who was my patient that she had no heart. I go to listin to her heart sounds. I look at the husband with the straightest face again and said, I have got some bad news, your wife has a heart. They were both in stitches.

I have been known to walk into a room of a pt who ad a craneototomy and tell the pt "Looks like you had a splitting headache." They laugh. Humor serves to purposes, gets the pt to look at their illness with humor, and it gains the trust of the pt very quickly.

Adam, RN

:yelclap: :yelclap:

[sarahbellum]

My nursing instructor told us about when she transferred from the ICU to OB.

She was commenting to her preceptor while looking at the assignment board about what a concidence it was that so many women in labor were hard of hearing.

Her preceptor stared at her for a couple of seconds, then informed her that HOH in OB is "Hx of Herpes"