Frustration setting in!

You may want to consider a counselor, or meetings with a sponsor so that you can make right in your heart and your brain of what occurred, and how to make things right within yourself.

Wishing you the best.

I already see a counselor and an very close with my sponsor. the thing is I am totally right in my heart about with everything, maybe not so much my brain. My counselor says I over think and analyze to much and he certainly is right. Just to refresh I had a relapse and drank 2 beers a couple months back . I am certainly am not going to beat myself up about it, nor make light of the situation. However, I feel like the punishment should fit the crime. so I hope for the best

I feel your pain on the dilutes, I've also had several and I too now drink very little on the days I'm selected for testing. It makes me kinda angry sometimes because it's like dang I'm doing all this, staying clean, and now I can get in trouble because of my kidneys?? I even got "spoken too" once about my urine being too concentrated! Sometimes it feels like I can't win!

I also wanted to quit manyyyy times because it took me a year and a half to find a job again and I started feeling like it was all pointless anyway and I just wanted my life and sanity back! Now that I'm working again though and able to again financially provide for my family, there's no way I'm quitting! But I got through the times of wanting to by reminding myself that I didn't know if I could live with what would happen if I quit but I could definitely live with doing the dang program one more day at least...and so I did.

As for checkin anxiety, create a daily alarm on your phone!

Anyhoo, just wanted you to know that I 100% commiserate with you and everything you've said and I hope you're able to hang in there!

Thanks odaat!

I share you pain that only time can heal. It definitely gets better. Just take it easy and go with flow , slow things down and relax. If I can make I feel like every nurse on this planet has a shot. Two years ago I wasn't hearing it but I promise it gets better.

So I finally hear from my lawyer and she said my hopes is to try and make an offer to the board of a 3 year probation agreement. This means my situation going public. Can some elaborate on what exactly that means! When I meant withy lawyer she was much more positive about a good outcome, didn't sound so much like that anymore. I can't imagine fixing up at this point but I so have some concerns. I am 3 months pregnant and already halving some blood pressure issue and dehydration problems. I am trying to eliminate all the stressors in my life but this issue with the board is hanging over my head.if I give up know then what does that's mean for any future in nursing down the road? Does anyone know

It just means the conditions of the contract will be published to public view.The CANDO contract is confidential and hidden from public view . Essentially they are the same, it's just a matter of private vs public records. However the Cando is discarded after said years of compliance.