freaked out once I got to question 86 on nclex pn and went to 205

[CaliLVN22]

Sooo, I've been watching the mail every day and this has literally been the worst experience of my life. NCLEX PN seems so inhumane. I went to the testing site fully thinking I would be stopped at 85Q like most of my classmates that had already taken it [first mistake]. Even those who struggled to make it through the program passed at 85, and I'd done so well throughout all of nursing school without too many worries. But anxiety got the best of me (and that's an understatement). With each question.. starting at Q86... and despite my attempts to regroup and tell myself that worrying about the Q number will only make things worse, I found myself getting more and more discouraged as the questions went on and the computer not shutting off until 205. I found myself just wanting it to be over because it was so much. I will say that I didn't cry during the test. I waited till I got to the elevator and then bawled in my car on the way to see my instructor to whom I embarrassingly bawled once again. I feel like I failed and it's the most sickening feeling with constant potential failure on my mind to add to the emotional chaos. I know I sound super emo but I'm at a loss. Nursing just means so much to me. Also, California doesn't participate in the 2 day result viewer thing and trying to risk trying the new revamped pearson vue trick by giving my cc info is just too sketchy for me.

Has anyone gone through this experience or anywhere near close to it and still passed? I guess I just need hope during this agonizing uncertainty. just don't know what else to do. Coping strategies/hope/experience would be greatly appreciated.