Forget About Barriers: Your Mind is Playing Tricks on You

Welcome to installment #6 of the A to Z for a Rocking Retirement. F = FORGET ABOUT BARRIERS. Are you itching for a change but a little bit unsure as to whether you should leap into it? Are BARRIERS holding you back from making the change you desire? This is a good time to assess where you are in life right now and where you'd like to be in the future and what it would take to bridge that gap.


  • Specializes in Wellness and Coaching for Women in their Third Act. Has 56 years experience.

James Prochaska, author of Changing for Good: A Revolutionary Six-Stage Program for Overcoming Bad Habits and Moving Your Life Positively Forward outlines predictable stages we go through when making a change. Are you in denial about making a change? Thinking about it? Planning how you will do it? In the process of making the change? Have you already completed it? Or looking forward to making another one?

Once you decide what stage you are in, it's time to look at the BARRIERS that are holding you back from embracing change. For me, this is the biggest stumbling block so I have created a process for you to try.

First grab a blank piece of paper. Determine what change lies ahead for you and write it as a Desire Statement on the top of the page.

Ex: My desire is to retire in 5 years. My desire is to change jobs. My desire is to create my own nursing business. My desire is to travel the world.

Create 2 columns below the Desire Statement.

Title column #1 " Barriers".

Title Column #2 "Possibilities"

In column #1, list 10 reasons why you can't have what you desire.

Ex: I can't quit my job because I won't have enough money to live on.

Now read this list and note how you feel. Not great right?

In column #2, re-word each statement from column #1 as if it could happen.

Ex: There are many different ways to make money that don't require working for a boss.

Now read this list and note how you feel. Better, right?

Fold the paper so the Barrier list faces back and the Possibilities list faces forward. Hang this up where you will see it every day so you will be focusing on what is possible instead of what is holding you back.

"In my life I've discovered that if I cling to the notion that something's not possible, I'm arguing in favor of limitation. And if I argue for my limitations, I get to keep them."

Gay Hendricks, The Big Leap: Conquer Your Hidden Fear and Take Life to the Next Level

If you know anything about the Law of Attraction, "like attracts like" and if you focus on positive possibilities you will naturally attract positivity into your life. And the best bonus of all, you will have changed your attitude from negative to positive and will be attracting more positive people into your life as well. Check out the book Ask and It is Given by Esther Hicks.

Doubt this could happen? Just try it out for 2 weeks and keep a record of all the progress you are making. Start a "breaking barriers" journal. You will be amazed at how those barriers will stop influencing you.

Here are more great reminders as you tackle each BARRIER in your life.

B - Believe in yourself and the gifts you have to share with the world. Only you have these gifts and others are waiting for you to share.

A - Adjust to living in a world where change happens all the time and is business as usual

R - Resist the temptation to be stuck in a job you don't like because of the security of having a paycheck and benefits when there are other ways to achieve this

R - Resolve to listen to your intuition and what your body and mind are telling you to do

I - Invest in the time to assess your situation, learn about other opportunities and take care of yourself

E - Examine barriers you are facing and determine if they are valid or negotiable

R - Rejoice in the fact that you have choices in life and you can be whomever you want to be and can do whatever you want to do to have a great life.

Now over to you. What barriers have you overcome and what strategies did you use? Would love to have you share so we all can learn what works!

Carol Ebert RN, BSN, MA, CHES, Certified Wellness Practitioner, Certified Mindful Coach, Sanoviv Nutrition Advisor

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Specializes in M/S, Pulmonary, Travel, Homecare, Psych.. Has 12 years experience.

Don't limit your challenges, challenge your limits.

Carol Ebert, MSN, RN

96 Articles; 207 Posts

Specializes in Wellness and Coaching for Women in their Third Act. Has 56 years experience.

Well said! I love a good challenge so I don't get "bored", plus I learn alot every time.