Forest Gump dies and goes to Heaven

Published Jun 14, 2003

667 Posts

The day finally arrived: Forest Gump dies and goes to Heaven. He is

at the Pearly Gates, met by St. Peter himself. However, the gates are

closed and Forest approaches the Gatekeeper.

St. Peter says, "Well, Forest, it's certainly good to see you. We have heard a lot about you. I must tell you, though, that the place is filling up fast, and we've been administering an entrance examination for everyone..

The test is short, but you have to pass it before you can get into Heaven.

Forest responds, "It sure is good to be here St. Peter, sir. But nobody ever told me about any entrance exam. I sure hope the test isn't too hard; life was a big enough test as it was."

St. Peter goes on, "Yes, I know, Forest, but the test is only three

questions.

First: "What two days of the week begin with the letter T?

Second: "How many seconds are there in a year?

Third: 'What is God's first name?"

Forest leaves to think the questions over. He returns the next day and sees St. Peter who waves him up and says, "Now that you have had a chance to think the questions over, tell me your answers."

Forest says, "Well, the first one -- which two days in the week begin

with the letter 'T?" Shucks, that one's easy. That'd be Today and

Tomorrow."

The Saint's eyes open wide and he exclaims, "Forest, that's not what I was thinking, but you do have a point, and I guess I didn't specify, so I'll give you credit for that answer. How about the next one?" asks St. Peter. "How many seconds in a year?"

Forest says, "Well, that one's easy, too. That'd be twelve."

Astounded, St. Peter says, "Twelve? Twelve!? Forest, how in Heaven's

name could you come up with twelve seconds in a year?"

Forest says "Shucks, there's gotta be twelve: January 2nd, February

2nd, March 2nd..."

Hold it, " interrupts St. Peter. "I see where you're going with this, and I see your point, though that wasn't quite what I had in mind.....but I'll have to give you credit for that one, too. Let's go on with the third and final question. Can you tell me God's first name"?

Sure" Forest replied, "its Andy."

Andy?!" exclaimed an exasperated and frustrated St. Peter. Ok, I can

understand how you came up with your answers to my first two

questions, but just how in the world did you come up with the name Andy as the first name of God?"

Shucks, that was the easiest one of all," Forest replied. I learnt it from the song..."ANDY WALKS WITH ME, ANDY TALKS WITH ME, ANDY

TELLS ME I AM HIS OWN. . . ."

St. Peter opened the Pearly Gates and said: "Run Forest, run ---"