People think I am stupid

[nikkole318]

I am a new nurse who just got off orientation a few weeks ago. I have worked at the hospital where I am for more than a year and was hired from a tech position to a nurse once I passed my boards. I thought everything would go smoothly once I got off orientation, but I've been wrong so far.

During orientation, I managed to make a lot of really stupid mistakes that I should have known better than to make, had numerous personality clashes with a couple of my preceptors, and got on my nurse educator's bad side. I know that people at work talk about me.

I have heard it first hand and get the sense that people do not like me. Although some of it is unwarranted bullying, I realize that some of it is my fault as well. I take the blame because my problems with coworkers seem to follow me wherever I go. I have never had an easy time making friends at work and have always gotten the reputation for being stupid, lazy, etc... I guess what I am asking for is help.

I realize that I can control how I present to other people. I am tired of being "that person." I need some tips on how to better my reputation and gain friends at work. I also need some words of encouragement. There is a girl at work who I know has spoke poorly about me to various people and I feel like as a result, these people now have a very negative opinion of me. I can tell by the knowing looks, sideways glances, and hushed whispers in the hall.

I realize that I cannot control what other adults do, but these things have really put a beating on my self esteem. Any advice on how to not **** other nurses off, how not to look stupid, and how to overcome a bad reputation? Thanks!

[Guest372004]

thx. I understand how to do it. Just need another pump. But with all my running around, I would piggy it along with a maintenance bag and set that to 5cc/hr so that when the zozyn is done, it does not beep and have me running. In other words, I would piggy it like I do when I have a patient who is not getting IV continuous infusion.

[nurseprnRN, BSN, RN]

Everyone makes stupid mistakes during orientation; that's why we have orientation instead of just throwing you into the job to sink or swim. Kudos to you for taking responsibility for your mistakes, though. That shows evidence of maturity and integrity.

If you have had difficulties getting along with co-workers wherever you go, you are right to accept the blame in this situation. Again, kudos. You're way ahead of the game if you've done a self-assessment ant realize that you need to change some of your ways of interacting with others. Making friends at work, however, is different from getting a reputation for being stupid and/or lazy.

Overcoming a negative impression is very difficult, but it can be done and you've already done the first steps by doing some good, hard thinking about the issue, accepting some of the blame and seeking advice.

Here's the difficult part of the whole process: You need to initiate interactions with others. For someone who isn't social, that's very, very difficult. At first, it need not be much -- just make sure to have a pleasant greeting for each of your co-workers as you come on-shift, encounter them in the med room, or whatever. If you have downtime and someone else looks busy, approach them and ask them "You look busy. Can I give room 2 his dinner tray for you?" If you just ask them if they need help, most people will say no because they don't want to appear incompetent, or because they're so overwhelmed they don't know what to ask for. But if you approach with a specific plan for helping them, it's easier for them to say either "Yes, thanks." Or "No, thank you, but could you help me take Mr. Y to the bathroom in a few minutes?"

We expect new nurses to need a lot of help, so don't be down on yourself if you need to ask questions or ask for help. Being willing to help others does a lot toward mitigating a reputation for laziness. When you have to ask questions, be sure to ask them in a way that makes it clear you've done some work on the issue. Instead of asking "should I give the coumadin?", ask "Mr. Bleedsalot's INR is 4.4 and his urine is cherry red. He has some new bruises on his arm, and I'm wondering if I should hold his coumadin tonight, and if so should I call the doctor or wait until someone else needs to call him for something?" The first is just a lazy way to get someone else to do the work for you. The second shows evidence of critical thinking and knowledge of what coumadin is/does.

There isn't much you can do about your colleagues gossiping about you . . . but you're ahead of the game because you know why they're gossiping about you and you can refute that gossip through your future actions. It's a tough road, but it can be done. I wish you the very best of luck with it.

^^ THIS. Brava.

[CountyRat]

Nikkole 318, I do not think that you are stupid; I think that you are inexperienced. We have chosen a very hard profession, which is why mistakes are so taboo, but give yourself some room for the fact that becoming a nurse is real hard, for anyone. Oh, and as for that, "girl at work who I know has spoke poorly about me to various people. "That girl" is going to show up in every unit that you work. Funny thing is, "that girl" has also been in every unit that I have worked. She must really get around!

I sympathize with you because I identify with you. While this may not be true of you, I have had to come to grips with the fact that I am not a particularly likeable person. Little social cues (tone of voice, looks, posture, etc.) go right over my head. It is not that I do not care about the feelings of others, I do, but I have a broken antenna, so even when I am trying my best to be friendly and sensitive, I offend people without a clue that I have done so. We all have our flaws, Nikkole, that one happens to be mine. If you do not believe me, look at some of my past posts. Better yet, don't look at them. Many have proved anger, and, I swear, I honestly did not know I was being offensive when I wrote them. That is my great flaw and I have to struggle with it every day.

For me, "talk therapy" has helped. No, the shrink was not able to give me a new "antenna," it is part of my personality and always will be. But, he has helped me see what the problem is, accept my imperfections, learn better ways to communicate, and display the useful aspects of myself that people like to see in a nurse and coworker. Nikkole, I do not know you at all, and it is very possible that I am completely out of line and none of this has anything to do with you (have I have mentioned that I have a problem with sensitivity? LOL). If so, I apologize; just ignore this nasty little post and move on. However, if my experience resonates with you at all, maybe this post will give you something to think about. Or not. In any case, be well, dear colleague, and whatever you do, do not give up!

[gator mom]

As far as IVPB-we run it concurrently when we have a pt that is NPO. Zosyn is ran at 12.5ml/hr over four hours. If you hang it q8hr-the NPO pt is not getting enough IV hydration if not ran concurrently.

[snorkzella]

When we are new, we are bound to make some mistakes and even fail a test or two. Nursing is a huge endeavor with a lot to know, and most of that knowledge comes from experience. Give yourself a chance to learn and grow. It sounds like you judge yourself very harshly and then feel stupid for making mistakes. Perfectionists have a very hard time learning new things because they feel that they should be instantly wonderful at everything they do. How do I know this? I am a perfectionist personality. When I entered the nursing field at the age of 42, I felt very strongly that I should not ever be making a mistake. Trust me when I say that I judged myself more harshly than any co-worker could have. But when we are learning, we're going to make errors. It's how we grow. I had to resign myself to knowing that there would be days on the floor when I was going to feel stupid. Did people judge me for being new? You bet. But you have to ignore any judgemental behavior and keep on going, and learning. Hospitals can be harsh places to work with very little emotional warm fuzzies to help us when we're new. Some co-workers will look at you like you are dragging down the "team" because you're slower and have to ask a lot of questions. Ignore them. Find the ones who will answer your questions. They are there. And always ask questions if you're not sure about something. That will cut down on mistakes dramatically. Focus on your patients, and their careplans and orders, and also on their comfort. That is why you are there. It doesn't matter what your co-workers are saying... or what you think they might be saying... about you. You'll get there. And the next time they hire a new nurse, you will no longer be the "newbie". You'll be one of the ranks. Relax and learn. You'll be great.

[solonglife4nursing]

IV Abx can be given concurrent of course but it depends on the Dr's orders and depends on the patient circumstances......and i think we all know that....anything and everything in nursing is dependent on the particular circumstances for each and every patient.

Ever heard the saying "nurses eat their young" looks like you have fallen into this category. Nurses are strong personalities and as we all know we can be tough on each other and expect nothing but the best.....I have worked in big hospitals and little hospitals and many different facilities through my career...nurses are never gonna change. You might be the center of some hatred right now but maybe if you just go to work, do your best and go home your spot light will pass, it will be someone else's turn eventually.

Don't go to work caring if the whole shift is your friend. Go to work to make a difference in your patients lives. Its not a social contest at work and if it is your there for the wrong reasons. Learn to tune them out and just do your work. If they refuse to help you with things you need help with like boosts and turns and such then its time to speak up and let it be known that their childishness is affecting patient care.

Do your job 100% then they have nothing to say...and if they do...you will learn to grow a thicker skin and not care....make sure your butt is covered when it comes to anything legal...i started as a DSW then an RPN and now an RN....pretty difficult to stay anywhere you have been another "title" or role...people dont like change...I had to move units and once facilities to be able to practice without old dogs trying to keep me down...nurses are a funny and weird breed....love our patients but so hard on each other....i am trying to make sure that no longer happens in my facility...the young are cared for and respected....they will carry the old when its their turn....be nice to each other....

[RNam]

Well for starters, it's obvious your not helping your self esteem by posting on here. I stopped reading the comments about half way through. Some people are just plain mean. The things you mentioned are not stupid mistakes, they're lack of experience mistakes. I won't bother repeating what some have already said about improving your skills, working through it, the whole piggy back thing,etc. But I will mention this... It's not impossible to change people's mind about you. I have seen more than a few people accomplish this at my job. They had a rough start, kind of clashed with a few of the more difficult personalities, but they kept a good attitude, and went out of their way to show people their true colors, and that they were really trying, and over the coorifice of several months, I saw the same people who had been bad mouthing them, completely turn around. One thing that ends up happening a lot of times is that other people that may have heard a negative report about you, start to decide that they don't hold the same opinion, or they just plain forget about it over time. Ofcourse, all of that requires some persistence & positive attitude on your part, but it can be done. And there will always be a few folks that are determined to be cruel and unmerciful, no matter what you do. For them, you have to learn to avoid them when you can, and develop a thick skin for the times you can't. And you have to learn to be a little kinder to yourself too. Best of luck!

[Hollista]

HAVE YOU? nurse Freud? It is RN 's like you that give the saying...."nurse's eat their young" validity.

[jtmarcy12, BSN, RN]

Congrats to you canigraduate!! for seeking help. I hope that OP takes this info to heart and stop letting others beat up on her. I would do as you have done. We need to realize seeking mental health help is nothing wrong when nurses do this, we can become a better person who is more focused and wise in willing to admit our mistakes and then encourage others. Best Wishes!!

[nikkole318]

Thanks for the advice. Yeah, I don't know why other people are attacking me. Clearly I know I have a problem - I don't really need other people lashing out at me.

[nikkole318]

Yikes, um. I don't know what to say to this. Except I am glad I didn't see it when I was going through my rough time. During the time I made mistakes, I was on orientation. The preceptor was there to ensure that I wasn't "damn dangerous." It has been a year and things have certainly gotten better. I don't make mistakes anymore, I am considered a good nurse, and people (other nurses) regularly come to me for advice and to answer questions.

[nikkole318]

Thanks for the advice. Yeah, I don't know why other posters are attacking me. It definitely does not help.