anxiety galore

  1. Sorry, but I have to vent somewhere. I started my job about a month ago, and have been on the floor for 4 weeks now. I have had 3 preceptors since my original preceptor was on vacation. She came back this week. Her first day back, was honestly, one of the worst days of my life. I only had 3 pts but one was on isolation with a peg and a trach. Everytime I had to go into his room, it was like preparing for battle. I was in his room fixing his iv dressing, when she came in with newly ordered meds for the pt. I looked up and happened to see that the tubing for the trach mask was full of foam. I noted this outloud and looked around to see if there was tubing. I said I would have to go outside and get more. She said she would go get it, for me to keep doing what I was doing. When she came back she started to go off on me how I need to be more prepared, and stop starting at her with a blank look on my face. I told her that I had known what I had to do, but was doing something else at the moment. I can't do all 50 things she yells at me to do at once. She said "Don't throw this back at me, you are the one that isn't taking initiative!" Huh? I went into the room with a game plan, and had only just begun to attack it. She was further enraged that I did not know what the new meds she had brought did. *WELL* if I had been ready to give the meds, I would have brought them into the pt's room myself. She said "You should have your med book with you". I told her I have my med book but I didn't think it was a good idea to bring it into contact isolation rooms.

    I really don't know what to do. I can't counter her arguments that I'm slow, but I can't just "do it faster". I run from the moment I get there until the moment I leave. I only take 30 minutes for lunch and only get it after the shift is 2/3 the way over. I leave 30 min. late every day. I could save time if she were easy to find when I had questions or if pharmacy would refill the stupid pyxis so I didn't have to go upstairs 3 times a day. She also made fun of me for misspelling the word diahrea asking if I was dyslexic in front of everyone. I also loved how she told another nurse in front of me that she "had to give me a little heart to heart today". I had an AllyMcbealish fantasy of just reaching out and slapping her.

    I cry on the way to work, I cry on the way home from work. I've been crying my entire two days off. I can't believe I have to go back to that place tomorrow. I love the actual work, but I can't obviously be what they want me to be. I am trying as hard as I can, but it is not enough obviously.
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    About Tinker

    Joined: Jun '02; Posts: 30


  3. by   Noney
    This nurse is a bully. She should not be precepting. However this kind a nurse rarely shows her true colors around mangement. How long is your orientation? Did you cliche well with one of the other preceptor? If so you might want to consider aking your manager to reassign you to her. Mention to your manager that you seemed to have a better working relationship with the other preceptor.

    I would caution you not to tell the manager that the other preceptor is giving you a hard time. (I know I am going to get flamed for this) The reason I caution this is because you are new. You don't really know what kind of link there is between the two. They may be best friends. You coould labeled a troublemaker. Also the manager may not reassign you, and it could get back to the other that you complained. Believe me if this Nurse is the BULLY I think she is, She would make things even worse.

    I know things are rough right now, but THINGS WILL GET BETTER. One thing I try to remember when someone tries to pull me down, is if I don't respect and care about their opinion it shouldn't matter what they think.

    Come here and vent often. Good luck!
  4. by   meownsmile
    i wholeheartedly agree with noney. do as she says,,,,
  5. by   kimmicoobug
    Sadly, I agree too. I am also a newborn RN--four weeks old and my orientation has actually been great with a wonderful, nurturing, bunch of people I work with. The problem for me is that they had me orient to each unit for two weeks then tell me I am being placed in the float pool. So, I am off orientation that was supposed to last 12 weeks instead of six and I can tell you very matter-of-factly that I know I can't take a full load safely in med-surg if I were to go tomorrow... So, I know our problems aren't similar, but I find that I have to hold back alot of what I say and what I do say is very tactfull, yet assertive. (I requested more orientation on med-surg pleading the case that in all areas I oriented to, that is the area that I felt the least comfortable with after my two week orientation).