First CPR experience.

I just finished nursing school a couple days ago and I've never experienced this but I can assure you this is normal. My professors always say that the first time for everything is nerve wrecking. The longer your experience that better you'll be. Relax and try not to worry :) good luck

I am sorry your first experience was so bad. Most CPR does not end up with a live body so that was not unexpected. What makes it hard, even to read, is that the patient was brutalized for no good reason. At 96 her bones were probably more fragile than fine glassware. The cancer probably had advanced to the point where the body had shut down. You were doing what the family wanted, most likely because they do not know how terrible it is to force CPR on someone like your patient.

Try to put your experience into perspective. Yes, it was terrible. What can you take away from this experience? Will you be a better advocate for the terminally ill patient when the family does not understand the concept of "Allow natural Death"? Can you talk to someone who understands how difficult it is for nurses to push that chain up hill day after day? A hospice nurse, for example. They are so good at finding the right words to help families accept the reality of death and the lack of need to fight it with CPR.

Again, remember what got you into nursing. It was to assist. You are young in the profession. Try not to allow this one bad experience to frighten you. I am sure you did well. Every position in a code is an important one. I thank God you did not have to do compressions. The knowledge that ribs were broken is enough. You do not have the actual recall of this event.

Hang in there. With experience comes more confidence.