Feeling sad and anxious before night shift

Nurses General Nursing

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I have a position that I really like and I enjoy all my co-workers. There's really nothing I don't like about my job other than the shift. I had oriented on PM shift and never had these feelings. Now that I'm on NOC shift, I feel sad and anxious every single night before I go in. I really hate feeling like this! It's hard to explain but knowing my husband and children are getting ready for bed as I'm getting ready to leave makes me feel so incredibly sad. I am hoping at some point I can maybe switch back to PMs but they really need me on nights now and I want to help out. Will this feeling ever go away? It's been about 3 months and it hasn't decreased at all. I'm always fine once I get to work, it's the hours leading up to work that are really hard for me.

Specializes in Perinatal.
Maybe it is not nights. Maybe it is the anxiety you feel now that you are off orientation having only been there a short time. Are you a new nurse?

No, I don't think so. I moved to nights while I was still orienting and immediately felt this way, which I didn't feel while I was orienting on PMs. I am a new nurse and definitely have that new nurse anxiety, but this is a different feeling.

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Specializes in Perinatal.
"but they really need me on nights now and I want to help out." :banghead:

Do THEY need you more that your family? Is it worth your mental health?

Trust me on this one... THEY don't give a rat's patooty about you.

If it's possible to get back on afternoons.. do it STAT.

I really hope I can soon! It's not management I care about, it's my co-workers. But you are right! Hopefully soon ;)

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Specializes in Perinatal.
If you're just leaving for work when your husband and children are getting ready for bed, it means you've been able to spend the evening with your family. So perhaps 11-7 works better for your family life than 3-11? Or is the problem that you're trying to avoid your family by working 3-11 when everyone else is home.

Night shift doesn't seem to be the problem; it sounds more as if you need to change your outlook a bit. Be grateful for the opportunity to spend evenings with your family and then go to a job that you like!

Trust me, avoiding my family is the last thing I want to do. I love my family more than anything in this world and am actually bothered by that implication. I have trouble sleeping well during the day, so I am usually trying to sleep in the evenings before work so I'm not able to really spend time with them like I would like. The trouble sleeping, mixed in with the anxiety, is really difficult for me. In a perfect world, I would sleep while the kids were in school and then enjoy my evenings (which is why I was excited about the idea of night shift) but it hasn't worked out that way.

I am very grateful for the job I enjoy. I wish I could make these feelings go away but I am obviously struggling. I was just looking for some support from any other night shifters that share these same feelings. None of my co-workers have young kids; they are either childless or have grown children.

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Specializes in Inpatient Oncology/Public Health.

I've been a night nurse as long as I've been a nurse, 7 years. And I wouldn't want to work any other shift. I work weekend nights and I'm essentially a stay at mom during the week. I think it definitely maximizes my time with my kids. But when there are feet of snow outside and everyone is tucked in warm in their beds, when the kids are sick and I'm stumbling out in the darkness to my car, yeah it makes me a bit sad.

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Specializes in Perinatal.
It sounds like just being a new nurse to me. Did you work full time before you got this job? If not, maybe it's just an adjustment to working in general and being away from your family in general-- not specifically related to the NOC shift.

I know that was very true for me, going from stay at home mom/nursing student to full time working mom. I still feel that way 2+ years later. I thought about switching to days, but on night shift you get to spend after school and dinner with the kids before going to work. Day shift means leaving before kids wake up and returning just as they are getting ready for bed. Personally I think night shift has a lot of advantages for family life.

I was definitely hoping nights would be more conducive to family life, which is why I was ok with it when I accepted the job. It has just turned out to be a lot more difficult than I thought. It's hard to not feel "normal" and it makes me sad to live my life opposite of everyone else. And I do think I'm having a harder time adjusting since I was a SAHM (besides school) for 14 years. I am just surprised that it is so much harder for me on nights than PMs. And I definitely would not want days...ever! I would stick to nights before ever switching to days.

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Specializes in Perinatal.
A lot of people with families and children feel like they get to see their children more working nights because you can see them and spend afternoons and dinner time with them.

That was my hope but it hasn't worked out like I thought I would. Those afternoons and evenings are usually spent with me trying to sleep before I go back to work :(

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Specializes in Perinatal.
Loving this thread, as I have a NOC shift offer for when I receive my license.

I worry about my circadian clock and my running/training schedule more than anything else. I love that I'll be able to be home more with my son while he's awake, rather than the way things are now, precepting on PMs, where I am able to pick him up from school then run off to the hospital, where I am until well after he's gone to bed, so he's comatose when I come and kiss him goodnight, and I am only occasionally up for when he's off to school, since I'm up so late and need to sleep in a bit. Plus the whole day feels wasted on PMs, like I can't get anything done with the looming knowledge that I have to be at the hospital at 3. I don't get nearly as much done as I would on days or NOC.

We're all built differently, but I think that focusing on what's GOOD, family-wise, will help, and maybe some tweaks to maximize your situation. From there, just give yourself time to adjust to being on your own on the floor and the flow of NOC shift on your unit. 3 months is not very long, and you're still adjusting. Be patient with yourself. :)

Thank you :) I should also add I work about 3 shifts a week (I'm per diem and set my own schedule). So PMs weren't as much of an issue for me, especially if I worked weekends when I had all morning with my family. I was also able to space it out more. Being on nights I have to schedule them all in a row.

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Specializes in Perinatal.
Night shift is not for everyone and that is OKAY. Tough it out until you can switch back to pm shift. I also feel sad when I have to do the occasional night shift. I am happily married and rather be home in bed with my husband.

Thank you for understanding! This is the first time in 17 years I am not going to bed with my husband every night and it makes me sad. I just try and tell myself it is just temporary and won't last forever.

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Specializes in Perinatal.
Nights is way better than evenings in terms of seeing your family.

Unfortunately, it hasn't worked out that way for me, since I'm usually trying to sleep before work.

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Specializes in Perinatal.
I used to feel the same way for the first few months . I felt like an intense feeling of sadness and anxiety. I got better as time went on . Now , even when my husband and daughter drop me off at work I no longer have those feelings and thoughts . It takes some time to get used to it .

Thank you for understanding! That gives me hope it may eventually get better. Just what I was hoping to hear :)

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Specializes in Perinatal.
I've been a night nurse as long as I've been a nurse, 7 years. And I wouldn't want to work any other shift. I work weekend nights and I'm essentially a stay at mom during the week. I think it definitely maximizes my time with my kids. But when there are feet of snow outside and everyone is tucked in warm in their beds, when the kids are sick and I'm stumbling out in the darkness to my car, yeah it makes me a bit sad.

I think that would make anyone sad ;) I hope things become easier, I hear everyone say how well it works for their family and I get frustrated that it's not working that well for me. Thanks!

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I am feeling the same way. I am a new nurse but the new nurse anxiety is getting better. But every night I work before I leave for my NOC shift, I feel overwhelming sadness. Like you, I'm fine once I get to work, and also like you the thought of my family hanging out and getting ready for bed as I'm leaving is really really hard for me to stomach. I'm hanging in till I can switch to days. Hopefully it'll be sooner rather than later. Does anyone have any tips on how to control that pre NOC shift sadness?

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