Feeling like giving up..

[sarahg88]

I have been an LPN for 5 years. I've worked in two different provinces and have had much different scopes or practice in both. Currently, I'm at the lower end of my scope in Atlantic Canada and am treated like low class citizen by the "real" nurses. My confidence as a "nurse" has been depleted so much that now I question my work, my competency, my critical thinking.. The whole lot. I am over diligent and make mistakes and beat myself up for days after. Today I overlooked something and felt like a complete idiot. I took off new orders for a patient and it was at 1545. I put the order in the slot for it to be delivered to pharmacy without thinking they would be closed at 4. I felt so STUPID when I was questioned about it at 8pm when the staff coming on asked why the meds weren't there. I stated "same meds but different dose" so I thought it was fine, but it wasn't. I never thought that it would be a different tablet for new dosage changes. I was so anxious today that my critical thinking was literally in "off" mode. I was so concerned about being perfect and being the best u could be that I made myself look like an idiot. I float at the facility I'm working at and have been here for a year and feel so dumb because I still ask (what I think) are silly and you can tell staff are annoyed. I guess I'm just looking for guidance. Has anyone else had these feelings 5 years into their career? I felt so confident at my last job (3.5 years acute care medicine) and received compliments from patients, staff and family constantly. Here I receive nothing and am made to feel like a disposable and not important "LPN". I'm ready to give up. I feel like if I don't get it now, I never will. I care deeply about my patients but feel I'm too dumb.

[sadbuthappy]

I think you are being so hard on yourself. Maybe your working environment is not the best for you. And you are also a nurse otherwise it wouldn't be in your title. You might feel better if you went ahead and got your rn and feel like you are progressing .

[Chin up]

You have lost your confidence. You do not feel you measure up as an LPN and project these feelings onto your coworkers. You have a few options, first, believe you are qualified for this job. That your LPN and experience have given you the knowledge to do this job well. Then do it well. Ask questions if needed, but stop second guessing yourself. After five years, you really do know what you are doing. Or go back to the field you felt confident. The respect you felt, stemmed from the confidence you had in yourself. Maybe this area is your sweet spot. If going back isn't feasible, you can quit nursing altogether. I just have a strong suspicion that if you were to quit, the little self esteem you do have will plummet and you forever will be down on yourself. Another option, get your RN, my instincts bet the farm, this may be the answer to all your troubles. Some LPN's do not feel complete, professional, competent or even proud to be an LPN. If this sounds like you, get to school. Your career, life and health will benefit tremendously. Only you know for sure. Peace!