Feeling like a failure

[Sweetpea04, BSN]

Feeling like a failure 

Hello all

I have been an RN 2.5 years. I worked in adult oncology this entire time. 

I left for the NICU and lasted there 7 months because I couldn't handle working night shift and being on an opposite schedule than my partner and friends.. I liked it but the schedule sucked man, and it was a long long list to get onto Dayshift there. 

I had a huge negative attitude when I was there and was afraid night shift was going to ruin my life. So I quit.. 

Now I regret leaving and I'm back in oncology, where I had been desperate to leave from. 

It's nice to be back in a familiar setting with familiar co workers, but I know I am not fully happy here and feel like I am not following my dreams. I feel dumb, like a failure, and like I let myself down. 

I want to leave again and continue finding my niche but I feel guilty and wonder what I should even do. Does anyone want to give me advice? 

I feel like a failure and like I am in a huge RUT. 

I want to get into PICU or another NICU in a nearby children's hospital.. but worry I ruined my chances.  

[NRSKarenRN, BSN, RN]

AN members offered good advice in your prior thread https://allnurses.com/asking-job-back-t758814/

What's happening with your support team of family and friends --what are they telling you now back on a daytime schedule. Nights is not for everyone--- I worked nights FT 10yrs while husband rotated all 3 shifts every week.  You tried something new --nothing ventured nothing gained.  Children's Hospitals rarely have dayshift openings for new employees.   

Please stick this out for another year as don't want to be seen as job hopper by future employers. Do you see long time with partner, children, etc --consider this in future plans.   Consider taking classes/CE in Ped and NICU to enhance future chances.  During this time seek career counseling to see where your skills best match and make good plans for next career transition. 

Nursing career dreams still invade my sleep 47yrs into career-- why didn't I complete NP degree, why not MSN in Informatics as I implimented 2 computer EMR in last Home Health Manager position.   If a pot of gold falls into my lap, just might go back to pursue MSN degree -- despite 40 years after last college courses.