Feeling very disheartened... Any advice?

[ChantelleMarie]

Hi everyone

I just joined this forum recently, and have not made any other posts aside from this one, but I have found the ones I've read to be very informative and encouraging... I hope you all don't mind me jumping in here and asking for a bit of guidance... :imbar

After feeling really encouraged at first with my decision to pursue nursing, tonight I'm finding myself feeling very low, due to past mistakes I've made and paths I've been kind of pushed along against my will... This will be rather lengthy so I can get everything out, so please bear with me

After leaving school and getting pretty good GCSE results, I took a year out of learning to decide which direction I wanted to take. A year on, I still wasn't entirely sure what my future held but for the time being decided to pursue my academic interests in the hope it would point me in the right direction.

Two years later, I left college with 4 A-Levels (General Studies, Psychology, Sociology and English Language at grades B, C, C and C respectively). I applied for and was granted a place at St. Martin's College in Ambleside to study Primary Teaching, with a specialism in Early Years Education. I enjoyed the course itself, and earned good marks in my assignments and placements, but I felt as though my heart wasn't really in teaching, and in wanting to be fair on the children I would one day be "in charge of", I made the decision to leave the course two weeks before the end of my final placement. Possibly not the best time to leave, but I didn't see the point in sticking it out until the end if it was something I wasn't going to pursue as a career.

Back home over the summer, I was considering my options and decided to apply for a degree in Sociology and Theology at my local university (Hull). I was accepted onto the course, but within the first few weeks I was attacked sexually and ended up pregnant as a result (I did not tell anyone until after I found out about the pregnancy - I was too afraid). This affected my well being and my studies, and I found myself being diagnosed with clinical depression and just faded away from university. There was no formal action on my part to leave the course - it ended with my being kicked off the course for non-attendace at examinations around Christmas. In hindsight, I should have made an attempt to let the university know the situation as I am sure they would have been more than understanding and probably let me start again the following year. But at the time, I was so bogged down with everything that I could hardly leave my room, let alone make any effort to contact anybody.

... Before I applied for my teaching degree, I was actually wanting to pursue a career as a nurse, but was discouraged from doing so by friends and family friends who had taken that route and had become disallusioned with their jobs and the health care system in general. It was during this year that my interest grew again, having been around nurses at the hospital when my baby miscarried 3 months later (I made the decision to keep it - very hard but I believed it was not the baby's fault and do not believe in abortion) and for a long while with the mental health team that helped me with my subsequent breakdown. I saw just how much they cared about me and my situation, and how much their worked seemed to mean to them.

After I got my life back on track a few months later, I had a few jobs before finally settling in the one I have now - I have been there for 15 months at present (customer service/admin). But it has always been at the back of my mind to study nursing... I cannot think of one career with more diversity and progression routes or one which would be any more rewarding. I want to be able to help people in vulnerable positions as people have helped me in the past. It's something I've found I have a real passion for. I have no formal, paid experience. I have looked after my grandmother over the last year or so as her health has sadly deteriorated due to old age, and have enjoyed every minute spent with her. But I don't know if that will be enough.

My real problem, however, is that the university I want to apply to is my local one - Hull. The one I drifted away from during my rough period a couple of years ago. I'm afraid I won't even get to the interview stage after they look over my application and see I was kicked out before. I can always write a letter with my application explaining what happened, but I am not sure exactly how much to reveal, or how to say it for that matter. And I'm scared that my leaving the teaching course will also be counted against me.

This is something I am longing to do - I just don't know if I am being stupidly optomistic in thinking I have a shot at it.

If anybody could give any advice at all on the situation, and whether you think I have a real chance at doing this, I would be very appreciative. If not, I'm afraid I may have to give up before I get my hopes too set on something that will never happen.

Thank you for reading, and I apologise for the length of the post - I didn't mean for it to go on for so long! :imbar

Love,

Chantelle

[butterfly135]

i'm am so sorry to hear of your misfourtion. that is awful. what i would do is talk to an advisor at your local school they should be able to give you advice about were you stand. and as far as no medical experience i would take a CNA course to kind of expose you to the hands on medical world. sorry i couldn't help you more. i'm just taking prereqs too . good luck to you.

[HouTx, BSN, MSN, EdD]

Chantelle,

I admire your courage & resolve. But want to warn you - nursing is a 'high risk' field for anyone with chronic depression or high levels of emotional vulnerabilty. You not only have to face your own demons, but you are continually assaulted with the emotional turmoil that your patients are experiencing. Be very careful. Caring as a career is not at all like caring for your dear grandmother.

That being said - her in the US, every school has an appeal process whereby a student can plead his/her case for re-admission by citing extenuating circumstances. It sounds as though you had plenty of those.

There are no limits on what you can accomplish. Look around you - everyone has the same amount of hours in the day. Surround yourself with people who are supportive. Avoid people who are not. Five years from now - you can simply be five years older, or well into your new career. You just need to decide on a path and stick to it.