Feeling defeated

[PixieRN14]

I graduated last May from an ADN program and passed my NCLEX in July. Finally I found my first job on a sub acute rehab in Oct. Working there wasn't bad but I had always wanted to work in a hospital. Then, in Dec I was asked to interview for a position on an Oncology unit and I was over the moon. I was offered the position and I informed my DON. She was very nice and said she understood why I was making this decision. Fast forward three months... I am completely miserable. I just don't think hospital nursing is for me. At first it was great and I received wonderful feedback. Yet as time has progressed I feel myself struggling more and more. No matter how hard I try I just can't get ahead. I have always been an organized person, so I can't put my finger on what I am doing wrong. I have been told I have a great bedside manner, that I excel in teaching and there are no concerns with the safety of my practice, but time management is a concern. I try to cluster my care as much as possible, prime tubing for bags outside of the patients room and have a brain sheet that is great. Still, my day consistently goes sideways and I can never get it back on track. I hate that I feel so rushed to complete so many things that take away from patient care, but then get super anxious when I start seeing the clock tick forward and still have so many things left to do. The anxiety I have the day before going back to work is horrible and I feel like I am becoming more and more depressed. I am at the point that I regret leaving my Sub acute rehab job. Any words of wisdom would be greatly appreciated.

[PixieRN14]

Thank you for all your responses. I have talked to both my NM and Nurse educator. Both have assured me that I am doing well and they believe I will succeed. My biggest issue is my anxiety and the fact that I am very type A. I am very hard on myself and put a lot of expectations on myself.