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feel like I'm hitting the wall

by nursechrissyRN nursechrissyRN (New) New

This is my first post on ALLnurses, it's half venting and half desperately looking for some inspiration, maybe words of advice. I'm mid 40's, I graduated 2 years ago with ADN (I know, I know, BSN in the works) did a few months in horrid LTC facility. Was then hired as detox nurse PRN, wasn't thrilled but with no other offers and bills piling up, had to take it. So its a year and half later, I also started subbing in school for some extra $. I kid you not when I say I spend every extra minute I have searching and applying for jobs, it's on the verge of taking over my life. With nothing! I feel like I'm stuck in addictions now.. where I don't want to stay.

Mean while, people I have graduated with are in the OR, on Oncology floors, ICU on Med/surg floors, really? this has me so depressed. I work so hard, I'm the first to come in early and last to leave, always picking up extra shifts ect. I have worked as much as 23 days in a row, I thought "hard work will pay off"...I'm not seeing it. :( Nursing is in my soul, its who I was meant to be and what I was meant to do. It brings me to tears some days when I think, possibly....this is as good as it gets for me. I went back to school later in life to pursue dreams, goals, be financially stable, and I feel all those dreams slowly drifting away from me. I'm going back for BSN I know that's an issue, trying to get some certs to hopefully help get recognized, polished my resume many times. Feeling hopeless and helpless. I try and stay positive, reading positive affirmations, church.. ect ect, feeling bitter most days. So Sorry, didn't mean this to be so long and drawn out.

Drift with your dreams as you have achieved two of the three. And maybe remember, you come first. There are quotes and sayings that say "take care of yourself first and the rest will take care of itself" or something along those lines. So maybe if you have the opportunity or if you can create some time during the week to remind yourself of the beautiful you, however you do that. I just feel it's important sometimes. Wish you luck.

Edited by nowayis

Hang in there! You are not alone. I feel like I could have written the same post (with a few different details). The job market is tough out there. It sounds like you are working hard. Something is bound to open up eventually. Take care!