extreme anxiey...need advice

Tanlie226 · Jan 24, 2010

I think if you are having anxiety, then get on something that is non-addicting. There are plenty of things out there that can help you and not make you relapse.

jackstem · Jan 24, 2010

Are you attending any support groups (12 Step or Non-12 Step), talking with your sponsor or other trusted recovering people? Have you tried walking or other form of exercise? How about your diet? eatig healthy or scarfing down carbs and fats?

Try creating a priority list for the tasks you need to accomplish and spread them out over a week. Is there anyone that can help with some of the lower priority tasks? Are the kids old enough to help around the house? Significant other?

As nurses we have a tendency to think we have to do everything ourselves. Delegate tasks. Schedule relaxation time. There are some tasks that can be postponed (maybe even eliminated). I get the feeling that you might be a bit of a perfectionist and feel that only you can do all the things around the house (or they won't get done "right" if you don't do them).

There are many non-medicated ways of dealing with stress and anxiety...hot bath, stay away from caffiene and such, moderate exercise, etc. Talk with your doc or ask for a referral to a psychologist who focuses on those dealing with anxiety/stress. Massage therapy, hypnosis, meditation, are all ways of dealing with this.

Good luck and let us know how you're doing.

Jack

pawsomepooch47 · Jan 25, 2010

i suggest lots of exercise if you can. but, i have taken anxiety meds for 18 years----i look back over that time and think i wish i didn't have to do that but, my life sure would have sucked if i didn't. no smoking!:redpinkhe

LilRedRN1973 · Jan 25, 2010

I've always had anxiety and depression.....until I got about 6-8 months into sobriety. I found that I no longer needed an antidepressant and my anxiety is dealt with in ways other than popping pills (my drug of choice). I'm learning how to prioritize, as Jack said. Recently, my husband's schedule was changed to that of swing shift and the "old me" would have freaked out and insisted he couldn't work that shift. We have a 2 year old, a 10 year old, and a 13 year old. My husband is gone from 1:30pm until 10pm Fri-Tues. Add to that my BON's requirements (a 2 hour Aftercare group once a week from 6 to 8pm, a 1 hour nurse support group once a week, and 2 AA/NA meetings each week) and I'm one busy gal! Since I work Mon-Fri 7:30-4:30pm, my weekends aren't really less hectic because hubby leaves for work around 1pm. Fun times! Actually, there are days when I am able to sit on the couch and laugh until I cry because there's a virtual tornado in my home (i.e. three kids!). I have to really work on not "freaking out" to handle life as it comes. Does it get stressful? You bet! Do I still freak out from time to time? Yep! Only now I recognize what's happening, tell whoever is around me that I need a few minutes, then head off to a place where I can focus on the quiet and a short meditiation. I ask God for the strength to get through the next 20 minutes, an hour, or a day....whatever it is I need.

I've learned how to ask for help with the kids, which was the hardest for me. I HATE asking for help, especially with my "mom" duties. I think back to all the times I wouldn't ask for help, except to take some pills. I would rather deal with my anxiety and stress without medications. I lost my mother in August and I can tell you that without the program of recovery, going to meetings, my sponsor, my support network, and having to attend the groups mandated by the Board, I easily would have relapsed. I lost my grandfather a few months prior to that and made it through with my sobriety intact. I've recently undergone multiple MRI/MRA's, CT scans, endoscopies, ultrasounds, etc. to find out what's wrong with me medically and to ensure I didn't have an aneurysm like my mother. I made it through all of that without losing my way in recovery. And it's all thanks to a 12-step program that focuses on spirituality and the idea that I can't do it alone. It's manageable but there may be times when it's incredibly difficult. Those are the times you reach out and ask for help, whatever that help may be.

*Hugs* to you and I hope it gets easier (I know it did with me!). I'm about a year into my 5 year contract with the BON and have almost 19 months sobriety. It's like night and day from where I was the first 6 months and even where I was at one year. It just keeps getting better and better. I've come to a point where I can see some good that is coming from my mom's death (might sound morbid but it's true). I can see the gifts I've been given, whereas before, I would have dwelled on all that was wrong and been blind to the good. And best of all, I feel great that I'm able to deal with life each day without the help of medications, thanks to the program of recovery, my Higher Power, and the love I have for myself these days.

banannabag · Jan 26, 2010

Thank you all for your input. I think I have gotten a lot of very good feedback. The perfectionism suggestion by Jack really hit a nerve and I feel like that may be something I need to work on. (I have erased what I have written at least three times to rewrite it better) I do walk my dog pretty regularly but that is my only form of exercise but am sure I could use more. I tried to take a hot bath but found that I could not even relax in the tub and got out after only a few minutes. I am seeing my doctor later today to get his signature on my contract and wonder if maybe I should say something to him and see what he says? I am praying for peace of mind and I have also talked to my sponcer about this. She thinks I should talk to my doctor about it and screw what PNAP thinks. I'm not so sure about that however. Just talking about it has helped me feel better. My chest tightness has eased some and I do feel better. I hope this all makes sense as I have typed it on my phone so please pardon any typos.

jackstem · Jan 26, 2010

Thank you all for your input. I think I have gotten a lot of very good feedback. The perfectionism suggestion by Jack really hit a nerve and I feel like that may be something I need to work on. (I have erased what I have written at least three times to rewrite it better) I do walk my dog pretty regularly but that is my only form of exercise but am sure I could use more. I tried to take a hot bath but found that I could not even relax in the tub and got out after only a few minutes. I am seeing my doctor later today to get his signature on my contract and wonder if maybe I should say something to him and see what he says? I am praying for peace of mind and I have also talked to my sponcer about this. She thinks I should talk to my doctor about it and screw what PNAP thinks. I'm not so sure about that however. Just talking about it has helped me feel better. My chest tightness has eased some and I do feel better. I hope this all makes sense as I have typed it on my phone so please pardon any typos.

I think many of us have that perfectionist gene! It can really make life difficult for us and those around us. We want to do everything perfectly and really beat ourselves up when we don't achieve perfection. It can be a major reason we put things off, don't start projects and don't finish them. The longer we put things off, the worse the anxiety and feelings of impending doom become until we are paralyzed from fear and anxiety.

I agree with your sponsor...talk to your doctor. He can consult with your addictionologist. Something that I find interesting and also confusing. A large number of clients who retain the attorney I consult with rarely tell us the complete, unvarnished truth about the events that led to action by the board of nursing. The same for telling their MD about things that concern them. I know it's because of the stigma associated with this damn disease. We want our attorney and doctor to like us. We think they will judge us harshly or not put their full effort into helping us because we are somehow evil and disgusting. While that can be true in some instances, it's not universal. How can we expect sound advice if we don't provide all the information the doc or attorney need? We are not evil and we are not scum! We have a chronic, progressive, potentially fatal disease that destroys everything and everyone who love us before it kills us. As my sponsor told me 20 years ago:

We are NOT bad people trying to become good; we are ill and are trying to become well!

Talk with your doctor today.

PM me anytime you need to vent.

Jack

banannabag · Jan 29, 2010

i am new to this site so i am not sure how to "PM" someone. could someone clarify this for me.....thanx

Silverdragon102, BSN · Jan 29, 2010

To be able to send a pm you need 15 or more posts. You can however access your pms if someone sends you one and read them.

Once you have 15 or more posts to send a pm if you look to the bottom of the member's name in the post you should see small icons and the pm one looks like paper and pencil and if you put your cursor over it it will say send a private message to (member's name)

Hope this helps

banannabag · Jan 30, 2010

Cool! Thanx

banannabag · Feb 5, 2010

I would like to update everyone kind enough to give me advice on my extreme anxiety. I decided to turn the issue over to God and pray for Him to resole the issue. I wound up tsalking A LOT about the issues that I felt wwere causing me anxiety with my sponcer and close friends. I descovered that a couple of the issues causing me distress were fixable...e.g. I was stressing about getting my PNAP contract completed and sent back so I did what needed to be done to complete it and sent it back. Also I took Jack's advice and took a couple of hot baths and also walked my dog more often. I go to something called Celebrate Recovery which is a 12 step bible based progream desgned to help people like us and I found that to help immensly. So today I feel no anxiety and I actually feel great!. I am going into work tonite and we are getting socked with a blizzard and I still feel :lol2: :Dno anxiety. I have decided to pray and leave it to God to take care of me. So thanx everyone again and pray that I make it back and forth to work safely!

jackstem · Feb 6, 2010

I would like to update everyone kind enough to give me advice on my extreme anxiety. I decided to turn the issue over to God and pray for Him to resole the issue. I wound up tsalking A LOT about the issues that I felt wwere causing me anxiety with my sponcer and close friends. I descovered that a couple of the issues causing me distress were fixable...e.g. I was stressing about getting my PNAP contract completed and sent back so I did what needed to be done to complete it and sent it back. Also I took Jack's advice and took a couple of hot baths and also walked my dog more often. I go to something called Celebrate Recovery which is a 12 step bible based progream desgned to help people like us and I found that to help immensly. So today I feel no anxiety and I actually feel great!. I am going into work tonite and we are getting socked with a blizzard and I still feel :Dno anxiety. I have decided to pray and leave it to God to take care of me. So thanx everyone again and pray that I make it back and forth to work safely!

Glad you found Celebrate Recovery! An awesome program! My sister and I are using their model to establish a recovery ministry for the chemically dependent and Childhood Sexual Trauma (CST) survivors. It's interesting. I go through treatment 20 years ago...struggle with recovery (relapsing twice, almost committing suicide, and surviving an accidental OD...finally surrendering my license after my final relapse and subsequent no contest plea to three felony counts), finally get my act together after all the legal stuff. Then my sister tells us she was sexually abused by a mentally handicapped uncle who lived with us and is entering therapy (because it seemed to help big brother). Now she's a CST support group leader. Then my Dad tells us he was sexually abused 3 times as a child and he never told anyone in his 80 years. He began seeing a therapist (he figured it helped his son and daughter, why not him?), attended several programs at my sister's church (where she now leads support groups). My Dad then asks me if I would help him start a men's support group for CST, so we based it on the Celebrate Recovery/12 Step models. It's been so successful we're beginning to accept new members (and Dad is going to co-lead the group at the age of 84!).

Little did I realize how profound the effect would be when I began really working on my recovery. Your efforts to deal with your anxiety brought all of this to the forefront. My Dad had been dealing with panic attacks and Irritable Bowel Syndrome since his early 20's! He's had scopes upon scopes, never finding any pathology. When he began dealing with his sexual abuse his anxiety attacks became fewer and fewer, and his gut hasn't bothered him in almost 6 months!! All of his physical symptoms were coming from the suppressed memories of his abuse and his failing to deal with the issues that arose throughout his life as a result. Truly an amazing series of events.

I'm glad you're discovering much of this before you reach the age of 80! I'm really proud of your willingness to take in the advice provided from folks who have been there and truly care about you and your recovery. An awesome role model for those who follow!!

Congrats!!! :yeah: :yeah: :yeah:

Jack