Excerpts from the Diaries of Cats & Dogs

FranEMTnurse, CNA, LPN, EMT-I

3,619 Posts

Specializes in LTC, CPR instructor, First aid instructor..

EXCERPTS FROM A DOG'S DAILY DIARY:

8:00 a.m.Oh, boy! Dog food! My favorite!

9:30 a.m.Oh, boy! A car ride! My favorite!

9:40 a.m.Oh, boy! A walk! My favorite!

10:30 a.m.Oh, boy! Getting rubbed and petted! My favorite!

11:30 a.m.Oh, boy! Dog food! My favorite!

Noon- Oh, boy! The kids! My favorite!

1:00 p.m.Oh, boy! The yard! My favorite!

4:00 p.m.Oh, boy! To the park! My favorite!

5:00 p.m.Oh, boy! Dog food! My favorite!

5:30 p.m.Oh, boy! Pretty Mums! My favorite!

6:00 p.m.Oh, boy! Playing ball! My favorite!

6:30 a.m.Oh, boy! Watching TV with my master! My favorite!

8:30 p.m Oh, boy! Sleeping in master's bed! My favorite!

EXCERPTS FROM A CAT'S DAILY DIARY:

Day 183 of My Captivity:

My captors continue to taunt me with bizarre little dangling objects.

They dine lavishly on fresh meat, while I am forced to eat dry cereal. The

only thing that keeps me going is the hope of escape, and the mild satisfaction I get from ruining the occasional piece of furniture. Tomorrow I may eat another house plant.

Today my attempt to kill my captors by weaving around their feet while

they were walking almost succeeded; must try this at the top of the

stairs.

In an attempt to disgust and repulse these vile oppressors, I once again

induced myself to vomit on their favorite chair, must try this on their bed.

Decapitated a mouse and brought them the headless body, in an attempt to

make them aware of what I am capable of, and to try to strike fear into their

hearts.

They only cooed and condescended about what a good little cat I was. Hmmm, not working according to plan. There was some sort of gathering of their accomplices.

I was placed in solitary confinement throughout the event. However, I

could hear the noise and smell the food. More importantly, I overheard that my confinement was due to my power of "allergies." Must learn what this is

and how to use it to my advantage. I am convinced the other captives are flunkiesand maybe snitches.

The dog is routinely released and seems more than happy to return.

He is obviously a half-wit. The bird, on the other hand, has got to be an

informant, he speaks with them regularly. I am certain he reports my

every move.

Due to his current placement in the high metal room, his safety is

assured.

But I can wait, it is only a matter of time...