Essay Help for ABSN entry

Hello everyone, I am submitting an essay to apply to an accelerated BSN program and I was wondering if you guys could give me advice on if it is good! I'm supposed to highlight my story, why I feel I am qualified for this, and my goals. Here it is and thanks in advance!:

Music has always been at the center of my life. From the time I was born, I was listening to my mother play on the piano and sing, while my father would leave to go play a studio session with his cello. I've always had a love for music, and grew up wanting to be just like my mother. I loved to sing, from the time I was a very young girl. It is ironic now that I am an adult, to find myself pursuing a nursing career. When I was about seven years old, I remember going to a summer camp and one of the girls' nose started bleeding. Immediately I ran up to her and helped her stop the blood. All of a sudden I find myself being yelled at and I didn't understand why. I was just trying to help my fellow camp friend. Of course we were both okay, but now I realize (after taking microbiology) that it probably would have been better if I had had gloves on. The point of this story is to say that I wanted to help this girl in any way that I could. I want to help when I see people in pain, I want them to feel better, and even if I can't fix them, I want to help them feel as comfortable as possible.

Growing up, I loved the arts and went to performing arts camps all throughout high school. This love of the arts drew me to pursue a career in music performance. I went to California State University, Northridge and received my Bachelor's in Music Industry Studies so that I could learn the business side of the career I was trying to get into. Once I graduated in 2014, I started pursing music to the fullest. I started a band, wrote a lot of music, performed, and toured for a few years. I loved it so much, and still do, but something was missing. I didn't feel like I had a career. The whole time I was waitressing, working on music, and had a part-time job at a physical therapy clinic which was also shared by a medical office. I was very tired because I didn't feel fulfilled. I truly believe I was put on this earth to help people because that is when I am the happiest. I love being on my feet, in fast paced environments, and I love people. Working as a receptionist at the physical therapy clinic opened my eyes to the possibility of a career in the medical field.

In the fall of 2016 I thought to myself, "What could I do as a career that would help people, but also allow me to practice music on the side?" I thought about it for a few weeks, and I prayed about it. I looked back in my life and all of the signs pointed to nursing. I researched programs and found California State University, Los Angeles. This school appealed to me because of their mission and vision of making innovative leaders by developing students' unique talents. I believe all of the experiences I have had in my life have shaped me into a strong individual with a need to continue to grow and learn. I found out what the prerequisites were, and I jumped in. I made a goal for myself to finish all of the prerequisites by the end of 2017. A month ago, my boyfriend's aunt passed away after a long battle with cancer. We were with her every day until she took her last breath. Being in this situation made me realize how much I actually wanted to be a nurse. I wanted to do more than just be with her, I wanted her to feel as comfortable as possible. This experience completely changed my life. I chose nursing because I want to be of service, have a fulfilling career, and possibly even incorporate my music skills in nursing. My goals are to finish an ABSN program, work in an emergency room setting for a few years, and then work in psychiatric care. Mental health is something very important to me, as I have watched many friends and family struggle and I want to change the stigma of mental health. It is just as important as physical health, and I believe they are very much connected. Music will always be in my life, but I believe that nursing will fulfill my life on many different levels.