too emotional??

Student-2008 · Jun 25, 2005

Hi everyone. I am new here. I am a prenursing student waiting to take my CNA course so I can wait some more to get into the RN program. Ha Ha. I have always been interested in oncology. I had a close friend pass on from leukemia when we were 10. He went through 7 years of chemo and died very soon after a bone marrow transplant. I have always said I wanted to help these poor kids. I know this is what I want to do but it really scares me as well. I think I may be too emotional. Sometimes watching the discovery health channel is too sad for me. What do you do when your emotions take over while you are caring for them? I wouldn't want to add stress or worry to anyone who is already worried enough. I just don't want to get all the way through school and find out that I can't handle it. I know there are other areas but this is what my heart tells me to do. Anyway, I am not looking for anyone to make up my mind for me. And I know I will get a better idea of things when I do clinical. I just thought maybe someone could give some advice and let me know what it is really like. I have been told before that in nursing, you just have to do your job and not get too close, but it seems to me, in this field, getting close is what you need to do. Thanks for any thoughts you'd like to share with me.
Jess

I am a nursing student, but I have also been a patient in the past...It always made me feel at ease when the nurses who "get too close" would come into my room...The other nurses seemed to be cold and was only there to do their job...Which nurse would you prefer if you was the patient? When I told one of my Instructor's that I was changing my Major from Human Services to Nursing, she said I would make a wonderful nurse because I truely care about people...She said a good nurse had to have a caring attitude towards people...And a BIG HEART...

Jess79 · Jun 25, 2005

Thanks for replying. I am glad you are well and sure you will make a great nurse. I know I couldn't be a nurse who doesn't get close, which is kinda why I get so scared. Although I believe it is the only way to go. When working with children, including my own, I try to make everything appear worry free (for the most part). If you start crying then they may get even more afraid than they already are you know? That is all. I just want to be sure I do more good for them. I really believe I can accomplish that but can't guarantee that I won't lose it someday. I guess you just have to excuse yourself and take a bathroom break or something.

leslie :-D · Jun 25, 2005

i've been a hospice nurse x9 yrs and i've never considered myself "too" emotional but yes, i've been emotional (aka human) with sev'l pts and their families. many times,you just cry along w/them.

and my nsg school also taught never to get too close to the pt.

i certainly don't let my pts know the personal parts of my life, but haven't hesitated in getting involved in theirs.

another thing to consider is i thought i was originally going to work w/ traumatized children. my husband is the one who pointed out that i would never be able to handle it- and he was right. so whatever avenue you decide to explore (which you'll get a taste of in nsg school), be totally honest w/yourself and ask if this is a specialty you could handle. your heart is certainly in the right place- you'll do well.

peacefully,

leslie

Jess79 · Jun 27, 2005

Thanks Leslie. I have been told that every nurse goes into it thinking they are going to change the world only to soon realize that is not the case. I guess you do the best you can but not stress yourself to the point you breakdown. I will find what I like and think hard about the short and long term of that decision.

Jess

leslie :-D · Jun 27, 2005

Thanks Leslie. I have been told that every nurse goes into it thinking they are going to change the world only to soon realize that is not the case. I guess you do the best you can but not stress yourself to the point you breakdown. I will find what I like and think hard about the short and long term of that decision.
Jess

ita jess.

during one of your rotations, you will 'feel' what is right, or not.

we never had a hospice rotation but we were assigned presentations to do on our topic of choice. i chose hospice and i shadowed a hospice nurse for a few days. that's how i fell into this particular specialty.

i also knew, when i worked in peds, i became very attached to my patient who was 2 yo and in the system for foster care. i begged my dh for us to be her foster parents, as i had grown soooo attached to her after 6 weeks of being my patient.

that's when later, dh pointed out i could never work w/sick children as i became way too emotionally involved. and he was right.

you'll know when you have found that balance of loving what you're doing vs. letting it consume you. you will flourish, i am sure of that.

leslie

Elsbet · Jul 29, 2005

I've been working in oncology for over 3 years now Jess. Each of my co-workers has a different and distinct way of dealing with the saddness. The one constant is we support each other. It's nothing to follow a fellow nurse into the CS room for a good cry. It truly IS a calling...*hugs*

AmeliaOlsson · Feb 28, 2011

Emotions are a very strong part of all of us and our human psyche. It is important to learn how to deal with your personal emotions in a way so that you can accomplish your career goals and be sensitive and safe with patients at work. I deal with being an emotional person myself and I try not to let it affect my patient care or work in negative ways and I best deal with some of my emotions privately on my own time.

Don't let your emotions hold you back from becoming a nurse or going into a specialty area that you are interested in. All nurses come from many family and life experiences that have been emotional and they do rise up in us at times and come out in different ways. I think the most sensitive care givers are those who are able to feel their emotions.

In working with patients, it is good to feel objective and in control of your emotions so that you express yourself and care for your patients appropriately in a professional manner. This may be something that you have to develop, but may make you actually feel better and stronger. When you rise up over your emotions and handle things rationally, you will feel like a good nurse. There are many times though where sharing stories and tears with patients can be just fine and appropriate, but you may have to gauge this sensitively. I have come from a family with many situations and ordeals, which I keep very separate from my professional life for the most part, but there are days when it can be challenging.

Also, never be reluctant to speak to anyone confidentially about handling your emotions if you feel they are overwhelming or out of control. For me sometimes it is talking to my best friend helps get things off my chest. But many health care providers talk to a counselor from time to time, and you should never be ashamed of this. Part of being a good care giver means to take care of yourself emotionally and physically. Be easy on yourself. Meditating, sleeping well, eating a well balanced diet, limiting caffeine intake, and taking B vitamins helps also with emotions and stress. :heartbeat

OCNRN63, RN · Mar 8, 2011

Bear in mind that you haven't gotten into school yet. If you do get into school, by the time you graduate you may decide on a totally different specialty. I really wouldn't be too preoccupied with this right now, if I were you.

As far as getting close, you can't get over-involved in your patients or it will burn you out. It's just not possible to get close to every patient; it will drain you. You can take an active interest in them, you can care about them, but if you don't learn early on where to draw the line, you won't last long. Even when you do maintain that professional distance, it can still be very draining to be constantly giving of yourself day after day. Self-care is a must.