I'm due to come off of orientation this week and I feel like there's just so much I don't know. I'll have a really good night where I get all my charting done, the patient out of the room two hours after delivery (even after dealing with her hemorrhaging at placental delivery, doing all mom/baby vitals, giving baby a bath, all with about 15 visitors in the room), and everything just flows, and then the next night I can't seem to remember anything I'm supposed to be doing. Last night was my third night in a row, I went into my pt's room and she was complete and had been pushing for over an hour. She was laboring 'naturally' had done awesome all day long and was in complete control. She had a doula, her brother, her mother and her dad and a midwife so I was just trying to help where I could and not be one of the many voices. I also tried to keep up on my charting (we have to chart FHR Q5 min while pushing). Everything was going great until the doc decided that the baby just wasn't going to come out that way. In all of my orientation I hadn't done a laboring pt to c-section, when I was the nurse. We got the pt into the OR, everything turned out okay, the baby was OP with a brow presentation. When we got to PACU my preceptor told me "okay, you have one hour to get her to postpartum". I still had the last hour of FHR to chart (Q5min) that hadn't been charted because I was getting mom ready for her c-section, signing consents, etc. plus mom wanted to bf baby as soon as possible, which meant her PACU clean-up was delayed, dayshift hadn't printed/filed any of the admit papers or faxed any of the orders to the pharmacy, patient was in pain and her pain was not under control yet, the list goes on. Meanwhile my preceptor is watching me asking me "did you do this yet, have you done this" and everytime she did that I lost my train of thought and panicked. I felt her disapproval all night long. She had just told me two nights before that I needed to step up my pace and that they had a nurse who always had three hour recoveries and she didn't work there anymore, hint, hint. So my one hour PACU recovery turned into a 2.5 hour recovery and now I have to go see my manager today. I feel like a total failure and have spent the day crying my eyes out. I really love L&D, but I'm wondering if I'm just not fast enough for it. I feel like instead of trying to make a wonderful experience for the patient, I have to focus on watching the clock and running her to postpartum within two hours. I'm just feeling so sick about this I can't even sleep.
My preceptor is a really good nurse. She's been in OB for over 4 years and knows her stuff, dots all the i, crosses all the t's. etc. She usually works four nights a week, picks up overtime whenever she can, so she's got tons of experience and I'm just wondering if she's comparing me to other new grads coming off of orientation, or if she's thinking I should be able to do what she does, I just don't know. I've talked to the other grads that were hired on with me and they are totally scared and feel overwhelmed too, but I didn't go into specifics so I'm not sure how they're really doing. My preceptor will occasionally 'throw me a bone' and say 'good work, you got them out of there in two hours' or whatever, but it just seems like there's this air of disapproval and constant disappointment lately.
Specializes in Did the job hop, now in MS. Not Bad!!!!!.
I may be expecting too much of myself after only 12 weeks of orientation as an RN.
:tku:
Calzone,
ONLY 12 weeks of orientation???? Lucky you! Sounds like you have more orientation ahead of you? I was booted out of OB because I was told that they were being generous to extend me beyond 8 weeks and that's as a New Grad who never stepped on an OB unit outside of clinicals in N.S. 2 years ago!!
you sound better since your first post too. Good for you!!
I'm glad you found a place in L&D, you sound as though you belong there. Hope it works out for you. Don't worry about your loss of confidence, it will return as you find yourself doing a good job in your new hospital. As for the long drive... If you're really tired, take a nap before leaving. Nap in an empty lounge chair in an empty room, or even on a stretcher in the storage room. I fell asleep one morning and drove myself into a ditch (and I only have a 45 min drive to and from work). Since I've started napping on days I'm particularly tired, I've managed to stay out of ditches!!!!
Chloe'sinNYNow
562 Posts
Calzone,
ONLY 12 weeks of orientation???? Lucky you! Sounds like you have more orientation ahead of you? I was booted out of OB because I was told that they were being generous to extend me beyond 8 weeks and that's as a New Grad who never stepped on an OB unit outside of clinicals in N.S. 2 years ago!!
you sound better since your first post too. Good for you!!
Wow, my last hospital really sucked!!
Chloe