Does Tough Skin make a Good RN?

Rabid Response · Sep 6, 2009

I work in an ICU and haven't experienced a lot of the negative behavior you mention in your post. Most of our MDs are very respectful of nurses, and the atmosphere is fairly collegial. Our patients are for the most part too sick to exhibit much in the way of rudeness/disrespect. Patients' families can sometimes make life difficult, but when you realize the stress they are under it is (I think) easier to forgive them.

As far as nurses behaving badly to each other, I haven't experienced much of that either. The veteran nurses on my unit have been very patient with new grads (and students from what I can see). And on night shifts the staffing is so bare bones that we all have to help each other or the whole unit will fall apart. Anyway I think that the culture of a unit is individual to that unit/floor regardless of the area of nursing you are in. Sometimes all it takes is one or two negative people to drag the whole unit down (on the other hand, one or two great nurses can lift everyone up!).

Good luck to you wherever you wind up. It sounds simplistic (and more than a little preachy, sorry), but by keeping up your own positive attitude you can do a lot to encourage the same in people around you.

MedSurgeMess · Sep 7, 2009

The behavior you describe, unfortunately, can be found anywhere, in any unit, in any given facility. It generally goes on in varying levels. I said GENERALLY, not

ABSOLUTELY...don't be afraid to search for what you want. With illness, though, you'll always find families that are emotional; no matter where you go you will have the opportunity to meet MDs or RNs that are not the friendliest either. Like any other field, you just ignore that part and appreciate the great parts. I hope you find your place, Ms Pollyanna!

CNORMBABarb · Sep 7, 2009

After 30 some years in nursing I have found that I have needed to develop a tough skin in some areas. Primarily those areas involve abusive co-workers, other health professionals, and abusive families/patients. But I encourage you to only harden the areas where you are most easily hurt, not those areas where you are most easily touched. Keeping our hearts for those who are hurting or seeking help only makes us better people as well as better practitioners. Don't be afraid to cry with/for those with whom you come into contact. I reserve my "professional" mask for those who irritate the dickens out of me. This helps me to keep my cool and to respond appropriately in the most trying situations (not always successfully, but at least most of the time).

Sadly, nurses tend to treat each other poorly sometimes. I think it starts in the competitiveness of university programs and feeds from there. :banghead: I agree with the other responder who encouraged you to seek out the area/group where you are most comfortable and most fulfilled. The great thing about nursing is that you can try a little of everything and you don't have to limit your career to one area of the profession. Find your niche and grow, grow, grow! And keep smiling - you can make a difference in peoples' lives. Copy%20of%20wink.gif

SlightlyMental_RN · Sep 7, 2009

I struggled with this same question pre-graduation. And yes, I have hardened myself--I have also found that getting older and having hands-on RN nursing experience helped. I found that my hospital's oncology unit (it's a dedicated unit, not general med/surg) was wonderful with the MDs and the nurses. This is where I chose to do my internship. The way I explained this was, it takes a special type of person, MD or RN, to work in this field, and they had better have pretty good interpersonal skills.

I'm now working in a free-standing unit for patients that require detox and treatment for chemical dependency issues. I love it. A lot of it has to do with the team, but I also like working with those in society that are the modern-day lepers. To work in this field you again need to be a certain type of person...loving towards all of God's children, but firm and unbending like a good parent. You also need to see through all the bs that the patients will try to feed you, but realize that they are hurting and physiologically addicted. It's a challenge a lot of days, but I truly do love my job.

chicookie, BSN, RN · Sep 7, 2009

Remember that is the bad stuff that sticks out in peoples mind. I have some great days on the floor, I come home and I am happy and perky. And honestly I love it. But when someone asks me about nursing I don't say any of that. I say the doctors are rude, you give and you give and you give, it makes you bipolar. Why? I am not quite sure.

And honestly it depends alot on you and the people that work with you. I have seen it. It can be the crappiest floor (like mine) with the worst patients but you are working with the best group of people so even though the floor sucks, the patient load sucks, the lack of supplies sucks, the nurses there are happy, they are even like a mini family. I need a tough skin with patients and some doctors but not my coworkers.

Triage24 · Sep 7, 2009

Have been a nurse for 16 years. I can tell you it depends on the group you work with. Most of my background is ICU/CCU and ER. Dr's for the most part are not to bad. Love the group I work with in the ER. The nurses there are more like a family. I have always, always, always made a point to be in an enviroment that once you are well enough to complain it is time for you to move. That is why I like the ER best. I am not dealing with the same patients day after day. I will admit that we have our regulars though. Got to love them . LOL

Freshman RN · Sep 7, 2009

the problem with any job, especially right now, is that everyone is on edge.

the coworker problems are always there no matter what job that you have. our just happen to be rude doctors, surgeons and nurses.

patients will always complain no matter what the service, and usually about stuff that really doesn't matter. my MIL once complained that following surgery the nurse came in to wake her to make sure that she was still breathing at 0300, (sorry siding with the nurse on this one) this is something that she complains about today. people tend to forget all the good care and remember small things.

dr's are a strange group, just do your job, document and limit contact.

negative coworkers: limit that contact to. they are negative in nature, they don't change from the time they get up to the time they get to work. there is always a large list of complaints( the dog the car the weather) it is where they live and where they like to live.

thanks

DianaTC · Sep 7, 2009

Thick skin is important when it is needed, and having a soft heart is just as important when needed. The most crucial part is figuring when to pull out which "tool".

I work on a Medical/Renal/Oncology floor where our team of nurses is smart, caring, tight, but tough. We take care of each other, but push each other all at the same time.

Being emotional is normal and human. I am a nurse because the human aspect of what I do is so very critical to my nursing "style". I get frustrated, and have cried at work before, but I have learned to step away from a situation for long enough to sort out my REACTIONS to it so that I may properly ACT.

No matter which unit/dept you work in, you will run into jerks of doctors, nurses, manager, and ancillary staff. Growing your practice, skills, and resultant confidence will bring comfort to you in your everyday work. My experience with ICU in particular is that nurses become very hardened to the human aspect of what they do. There are many who balance this very well, but it is obvious that some put up emotional walls to protect themselves from the crap they deal with every shift - ethical issues, traumas (families in trauma), lots of death (not pretty deaths many times). OR can take most every human aspect out of nursing. The patient is just there on the table to be worked on. It can be just the right thing for certain individuals, but as you mentioned, you have to deal with surgeons. They can be pieces of work, to say the least.

I am thankful for the choices I have made to advance my skill set and career. I don't think there is any more variety in the hospital I work in outside of the unit I work on. I love what it has given me for experience. Pay attention, talk to the doctors (they are only people, too), be confident and back up your confidence with competence, and people will respect you. You will build self-respect all along!

Good luck to you, and go for it! As a doctor friend said to me, and this is what got her through med school, "Lean into the fear". If something makes you feel uncomfortable, go towards it. Nursing will make you uncomfortable until your skill are built. Even after that, you will be presented with unfamiliar and odd scenarios and skills. Just do it. It is your job, your career! It is what you make it into!