Do they not want the truth in exit interviews?

[Marshall1]

When giving an explanation for resignation from a position, does the employer not want the truth? I was asked by 4 different people in the upper management why I was resigning.....I was tactful, honest and did not use any names though I'm sure, given the smallness of the place, it was not difficult for anyone to figure out who I was referencing. The manager of this place is very, very nice, has great ideas BUT is disorganized and spent a lot of time on personal issues/commitments outside of work, was late or didn't show at times that were scheduled for meetings etc. but almost constantly spoke of feeling overwhelmed. The point was reached for me, this past week, that as long as this person is in charge, there will continue to be confusion, people quitting, families and patients unhappy and deadlines not met. This is not a personal dislike of the manager - everyone likes this person however nice doesn't = good leader. I realized I would be beating my head against the wall if I stayed. I was heartsick of resigning because this was a position, for the first time in a llloonng time I could see myself staying in, excelling in and helping make this place what the company has been striving to make it for sometime. I tendered my resignation yesterday with the intent of staying for 2 weeks or until they found someone else for this position. Last night a little after 9 the manager left me a message asking me to return my keys asap. I was shocked but did so this a.m. 4 people from higher up have contacted me today - again, I was honest and tactful. I don't know what I expected but there has been nothing, no return call/email from the feedback they asked for. I do not want anyone to lose their job but at the same time this manager is a large part of the reason people leave, etc. as I stated above. Was I wrong to be honest? Should I have just said " oh, the position just isn't for me" or something along those lines? If former employees are honest then how is a company going to change? Do they not want to?

I am REALLY down about this resignation even though I know it was the right thing to do given the temperament of the place now. I start another position next week so I'm not freaking out about another job it's just THIS job would've worked really well for me and it seems...to sound childish...unfair that someone who is nice but not qualified to be in the lead role stays while everyone else either worries themselves to death over what "crisis" will come up next or like me, if they are licensed, leave because of fear of something "major" happening and that effecting the rest of their careers. I don't know..just venting and confused.

[nerdtonurse?, BSN, RN]

What I heard from someone who worked in HR:

1. They're looking for people who might be a problem -- EEO complaints, ethics complaints, etc. They will take what you say -- and go protect the company. If they ever ask you if you took notes, made copies of emails, etc. -- say NO. That's company property, and you could end up in more trouble than you'd believe if you say, "why, yes, I did...."

2. If you complain about anything, you will be the "disgruntled employee." So if you later enter any kind of litigation, you're already appropriately classified.

3. There's a lot of studies that say if you let people get things off their chest, they are less likely to sue, talk bad about the company, etc. A lot of the "exit interview" is a talkdown of the exiting employee.

4. If you think it's not all about the company...has anyone ever had the HR person ask, "what would it take for you to stay?"

You can't fix stupid, and you can't change a corporate culture at the end of your interaction with it. Just say you're moving on to other opportunities you'd like to explore, you've enjoyed your time with the company and would recommend it to a newer (enter job title) who could benefit from the excellent growth opportunities the company gave you as a new (whatever). But never put anything in writing other than "I am resigning my position effective (date) to pursue opportunities at another facility." I might put in something about cashing in my vacation time or something, but that's it.

[Merlyn]

No they don't want the truth. The higher up they go the closer to Never-NeverLand they are. That mystical place were all the nurse are happy and all the patients are cured. I once met a past Comissioner of Health. He was making a tour of all the state hospitals. He had this far away look in his eyes, real far away as if his brain was on vacation. As I was introduced to him the DON told him I was an LPN. He said "That's nice, making your rounds, Doctor?" I look at the DON. She looked at me and I said Yes, Comissioner. He smiled and then he just floated away in a cloud of pixie dust. My point being no one wants the truth. They want dreams and health care in this country keeps going down, down,down.

[N.U.R.S.E.]

One of my favorite lines ina movie is they don't know don't show or don't care what goes on in the ghetto. In this case what happens on the floor just so long as it does not interrupt their profit margin. And besides you are leaving it will not be your concer4n unless laws are broken and you did not report it just move on they sure will.

[xtxrn, ASN, RN]

They want to know if you're going to rag on them anytime soon. Otherwise, I can't imagine any exit interview I've ever done was worth the powder to blow up a flea.