Do any other men have a hard time patients who don't want a male caregiver?

barcode120x, RN, NP · May 24, 2023

I've experienced having patients not want me because I'm a male, very rare though. I respect their decision 100% and it's their choice. I don't see a reason why you should care what a patient thinks of you. Do you what you are trained to do.

If you notice a pattern of patients want to change nurses, take a step back and reflect upon your care for them. Are they requesting a change in nurses at the start of the shift? Is it mid shift? Is it after the shift? Are they speaking to other staff and mentioning comments to them about you? Talk to your colleagues and ask be up front with them. Talk with your charge and manager and discuss the issue. They are your team so they should be able to point out any conflicts or issues with your care.

If a patient requests another RN, regardless of gender, it should be up to the facility/staff/manager/charge/etc to accommodate their request. Of course there will be times when it can't be done, and you need to make sure reasons are given to the patient. If you are stuck with that patient, especially of the opposite gender, make sure you are meticulous in your care and make sure everything is charted. Always have a chaperone if you are doing any type of physical care (bathing, etc).

Anonymous Person · May 24, 2023

barcode120x said:

I've experienced having patients not want me because I'm a male, very rare though. I respect their decision 100% and it's their choice. I don't see a reason why you should care what a patient thinks of you. Do you what you are trained to do.

If you notice a pattern of patients want to change nurses, take a step back and reflect upon your care for them. Are they requesting a change in nurses at the start of the shift? Is it mid shift? Is it after the shift? Are they speaking to other staff and mentioning comments to them about you? Talk to your colleagues and ask be up front with them. Talk with your charge and manager and discuss the issue. They are your team so they should be able to point out any conflicts or issues with your care.

If a patient requests another RN, regardless of gender, it should be up to the facility/staff/manager/charge/etc to accommodate their request. Of course there will be times when it can't be done, and you need to make sure reasons are given to the patient. If you are stuck with that patient, especially of the opposite gender, make sure you are meticulous in your care and make sure everything is charted. Always have a chaperone if you are doing any type of physical care (bathing, etc).

Of course I respect the decision, the thing is that it seems like it's just me that the patients usuallt don't want and my coworkers and management give me a hard time about it. For the record, all these patients have dementia or something similar. All the patients with it like me (except for the ones who are explicit no male care). It just makes me feel like I'm doing something wrong and it's making it hard to do my job because of my coworkers.

barcode120x, RN, NP · May 28, 2023

If both coworkers and management are giving you a hard time because of scenario out of your control (that being male and patients not wanting a male nurse), I would suggest looking for another position. You can also follow the chain of command when dealing with uncooperative coworkers. As you had said, coworkers and management are giving you a hard time, speak to your director or even house supervisor. If they additionally are giving you issues, you should move on.

I would also confide in other fellow male nurses and CNAs and see if they are having similar issues. This of course is under the assumption that these scenarios you are encountering over and over are due to your gender, and not necessarily your care. I'm not saying I don't believe you, but if one or two patients request another nurse, then that's totally fine. But if this is persistently every week, every shift, etc, maybe it's not necessarily your gender, but maybe something to do with you yourself that you may not know of? Just some things to consider and think about.

Anonymous Person · May 29, 2023

barcode120x said:

If both coworkers and management are giving you a hard time because of scenario out of your control (that being male and patients not wanting a male nurse), I would suggest looking for another position. You can also follow the chain of command when dealing with uncooperative coworkers. As you had said, coworkers and management are giving you a hard time, speak to your director or even house supervisor. If they additionally are giving you issues, you should move on.

I would also confide in other fellow male nurses and CNAs and see if they are having similar issues. This of course is under the assumption that these scenarios you are encountering over and over are due to your gender, and not necessarily your care. I'm not saying I don't believe you, but if one or two patients request another nurse, then that's totally fine. But if this is persistently every week, every shift, etc, maybe it's not necessarily your gender, but maybe something to do with you yourself that you may not know of? Just some things to consider and think about.

Definitely, I'm thinking it's something about me. However, all the patients either have dementia or they don't want a male at all. All the patients who aren't in an altered mental status like me and several are very excited to see I'll be taking care of then on days I work. The only other male at work is able to take care of a lot of these patients, he said it might be my age, height or physical appearance they don't like. I feel like it's something about me, but I genuinely have no clue what it is. Several coworkers have told me not to worry, but I feel like there's something else I can do.

Luke79AU · Feb 2

Nursing can continue along this path, or we can do what medical would do in the same circumstance. "Oh okay, I'm here now, and I'm a doctor. You can request another, but it could be quite a while." No way medical would play that male/female game. They command respect, so they receive it. Have you ever seen a patient try it on with medical?

Anyone (excluding strict cultural/religious requirements) who cares about the sex of their nurse is well and truly ready to have their discharge plan finalised.