Do I have the wrong personality???!!!

[GadgetRN71, ASN, RN]

I was having a talk with a fellow OR nurse about a week ago and we were discussing what seems to be the desired "OR Personality". I have been told that I am "too nice". Now, I am not one of these people that has to be liked all the time but it gets a little frustrating when you see not very nice people prosper in this field by being vicious.(ie trying to make you look bad in front of "their" doctor, lying, ridiculing others etc) I swear, most of these people could be diagnosed with borderline personality disorder. I love surgery but the fact that such miserable behavior is accepted and even encouraged by many clinical managers concerns me. Sigh... This post is mainly a vent-I refuse to change my personality to be like them though! Why do I feel like this is high school all over again?

[JLynnOR]

I'm a nice person, too and I had similar feelings when I started in the OR 7 years ago. And I did gain a lot of assertiveness that now is second-nature to me (I love how the OR shattered my "fear" of doctors). I absolutely hated the culture of "horizontal violence" of the OR in which I started. One of the docs told me early-on that the nurses "ate their young" in that dept. and I found him to be very right!! Luckily, I was young and ended up making a move across the country--away from that OR; got to new ORs, new experiences, and a lot of young nurses who were equally frustrated by some of the nasty experiences they'd had.

When you become one of the experienced nurses, I trust that (from your sentiment) you'll never purposely sabotage someone. However, NEVER forget the sense of being "an outsider" that newbies often feel. Make things less socially awkward for those newer than you. It feels really good to get to the place where you've "made it" and you feel like an insider. And I do love the affirmation of docs acknowledging that I'm doing a good job, and I love the feeling of belonging (without any malice toward others). I just try to acknowledge the frustrations of the newer people, include them in conversation when appropriate, and work on their knowledge/experience needs in a respectful and constructive way. They have to "get it" to ultimately succeed in the OR. But there doesn't have to be any harshness in the process.

You can be instrumental in helping to build a culture of respect and consideration in your OR by getting to a place of personal and professional comfort in the OR and then being a model of professionalism toward the new people in your dept.

Good luck, and hang in there.