Hello everyone-I just need to vent....I just keep waiting for my life to get better & it never really does. My story is that I became addicted to Percocet in 2003 after going through a length flare-up of Crohn's Disease, which resulted in toxic megacolon. About two years prior to this illness, I had escaped-with my 3 children-from an extremely abusive marriage. I was naturally mistrustful of men, but after about a year, I began dating someone I knew since the 3rd grade. "Dave" was a medic who worked in the same ER as me. I kind of knew that Dave was a drinker, but I never suspected that Dave was taking the left-over morphine home for his own use...well, Dave ended up introducing me to IV narcotics...I was so stupid & lacking in self-esteem that I began to take home the "left-overs" from the ER for us to "party" with...before long, I was addicted and horribly ashamed, so I turned myself in...I ended up in the VRP & was given a seocnd chance with a part-time position on the IV team at the same hospital, but I blew that because I could not pay the bills by working part-time, so I ended up working for an agency-and I got caught stealing narcotics...mistake after mistake....my license was then suspended for 3 years, during which time I was fortunate enough to find temp postions in Drug Safety. I petitioned for my license re-instatement in October 2008 & was placed on probation for 3 years. Finally, I could return to Nursing! Howver, the economy changed so that for the first time since I remember, there are no nursing positions-or Drug Safety positions-in this area....I've almost lost my home twice, went through bankruptcy, endured my ex taking me to court twice for child custody, my power was turned off, etc...and on top of all this, I still have to deal with the Crohns, so I get IV Remicade treatments once a month..I am also attended Professional Support group and NA meetings as required by my program....ANYWAY. Davita hired me in August as a full time hemodialysis nurse. During the interview, I revealed my On Probation status and was told "Don't worry-it's not an issue-I've dealt with this program before." Anyway, I went through their excellent orientation program, passed the test, and I am now working at a clinic. The problem? The pay is only $30/hr-and I am not getting full time hours. I spoke with the manager about this and was told-"I only have to guarantee each nurse 30/hours a week." I checked with the 5 other nurses and was told "that's why we all have second jobs." But my problem is that very few people will hire me while I am On Probation, especially in this very bad economy!! I am soo scared/can't sleep at night-because AGAIN, I can't pay the bills and I am losing our tiny house...I tried to call another clinic and spoke with their manager about getting more hours-she seemed very interested and promised to call me by the end of the week-but now it is Saturday and I never heard from her...I am so afraid that she changed her mind because of my On Probation status, even though I told her that she could call my boss to find out more about me (my excellent work ethic, how I have NEVER called out or have been late, how I am well-liked & motivated, etc ). My boss even made me Anemia Manager 2 weeks ago after saying that she she was impressed with my nursing skills and how consciencious I am...
