Hi all. I was a happy, involved, straight-A high school student. I really looked forward to college. Midway through the first semester, I found it very hard to even get out of bed in the mornings. It wasnt that I had stayed up extremely late, or gone to a party. I was just utterly exhausted. My grades quickly dropped, I lost my scholarships, and lost a majority of my "friends" because I had to stay home and study to get my grades back, and didnt go out to the parties with them anymore.
I dealt with this for 2 years. I was positive that it was just a phase, and that I would get over it as quickly as it seemed to have set in. Everything made me cry. I would cry over commercials on TV, and I would only leave my apartment to go to class, and come straight home. I became suicidal, not to the point of planning, just to the point that i thought about it 98% of the time.
I ended up going to a doctor. He checked my TSH, and it was significantly lower than normal. So he put me on Synthroid, and Prozac for a year. I started to feel better, I slept less, and had more energy. My refills ran out 2 months ago. I didnt refill them, because I didnt want to believe that I had to take medication just to be able to laugh, and get out of bed in the mornings. In less than 2 weeks, I was back to sleeping all day and night, eating everything is sight, and crying at the "drop of a hat".
I went back to the doctor, and got them refilled again. I feel better emotionally, but mentally I am bothered. I feel like less of a person because I can't deal with stress on my own, and require Meds to live a normal life. There is no depression in my family, so no one that I can compare stories with.
So, to get to my main question, any of you out there that have dealt with severe depression, at any stage of your life, does it ever get better? Or is this a lifelong battle Ive got in front of me?
Thanks