Depression making me question everything

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Specializes in Med-Surg RN.

Hi. Senior nursing student here. I'm just not sure if I can be a nurse. I've been increasingly struggling with depression and just feeling extreme tiredness, loss of interest and motivation for almost 2 years now. On one hand, I want to give my all and be there in my fullest capacity for patients, but on the other hand, I find myself struggling to even have the energy to do the simplest of things and I find myself just not caring about anything anymore. Of course, I feel for my patients and try to do my best anyway, but I just don't feel fully present and it doesn't feel okay. I don't think I can do nursing if I'm going to keep struggling this way. It breaks my heart and I wish so so much I could get past this because I know nursing is where I belong. I just don't know what to do. I'm trying to get help, doing counseling, taking meds prescribed by my health center, trying to find an affordable psychiatrist (not getting anywhere with that yet). I feel like I'm so close to graduating, but I'm not able to be a good nurse like this. I'm so sorry this is so long. I'm really not looking for pity, I guess I just needed to get all of these thoughts out of my head and try to figure out what to do from here

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Specializes in OR.

As a fellow nursing student, I can relate somewhat. There have been moments, especially since the dawn of COVID, when I've felt very depressed/unmotivated and fantasized about quitting. However, I made up my mind that I am going to finish nursing school and I would encourage you to do the same.

You're so close to graduating and you worked so hard to get to where you are. Don't you feel that you owe it to yourself to finish your degree?

Once you have that degree, it's not going anywhere. You can take some time off if you need to, or work part-time or per diem. There are so many different ways to be a nurse. If you find that working on a high acuity floor in a hospital is not a good fit for where you're at now, find something else that is!

If you feel that your depression is just making it impossible to continue, talk to your advisor or the dean of your program and explain that your mental health is causing you to struggle in school. Your instructors may be willing to work with you to help you succeed. 

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Specializes in Med-Surg RN.
1 minute ago, kubelkabondy said:

 

Thank you

I know I am so close to my degree. I know I'm going to try to push through and get it. It just scares me to think I might not be able to use it as I want to x

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Specializes in OMFS, Dentistry.

You are not alone.  I got my ASN in '17 and just graduated from BSN Aug '20 and feel so depressed and lack of motivation.  I can say this began about 2 months into COVID and not much has changed.  Like another posted, your degree will not go anywhere.  Take some time for you.  Best of luck

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Specializes in Med-Surg RN.
On 12/1/2020 at 12:44 PM, hopefulRN'17 said:

You are not alone.  I got my ASN in '17 and just graduated from BSN Aug '20 and feel so depressed and lack of motivation.  I can say this began about 2 months into COVID and not much has changed.  Like another posted, your degree will not go anywhere.  Take some time for you.  Best of luck

Thank you for sharing. I'm sorry you're going through this too x

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