Depression and anxiety in nursing school: advice?

[spammy_j]

So I'm in my sophomore year of nursing school and until now I've done REALLY well in my classes. I've made good grades, impressed every professor, made a lot of friends, I tutor for a patho class, all that good and productive stuff. In the last 3 or 4 weeks though I've completely lost my motivation, for everything. It all has to do with my personal life -- my family is moving overseas (without me), my best friend also lives overseas, my boyfriend and I might be breaking up, I'm buying a car soon, I just got a new job (minimum wage and a horrible boss), I'm trying to get a different new job, money is super tight, and I'm signing a new lease for my first apartment next week... so mostly just "growing up" stuff, and some really rough heartache. All of that's lead to me not getting my assignments done, forgetting my supplies for lab, losing my stethoscope, failing one of my exams... you get the gist. Also, a couple weeks ago I started getting really bad heart palpitations and had a panic attack in my Fundamentals lab (during wound care, of course) and had to go to the ER because my blood pressure was through the roof and I was shaking really badly for about 4 hours until they gave me Xanax.

My clinical instructor knows me pretty well and kind of gave me a kick in the rear about everything. She sympathized with me but also told me to either suck it up, look at the bright side, and start doing well, or continue to be negative and fail out even though I have a lot of potential. I figured I should just get more organized, which I'm trying to do, and I try to keep myself super busy. Problem is that I still can't get my motivation in gear and I burst into tears at really inconvenient times (like at my new job).

I talked to my Fundies professor today and she called Student Advocate while I was sitting there and had me schedule a counseling appointment because she thinks I'm depressed and might hurt myself or fizzle out. I don't really have thoughts about suicide or anything, I'm just super apathetic about everything. Other classic signs: I sleep a lot but I also sleep horribly. I haven't been to the gym (which I normally love doing) in at least a month. I don't play any of my instruments anymore. I watch a lot more Netflix than I ever have. I feel unproductive in all my classes. I can't get the motivation to do anything, but then I freak out because I haven't gotten anything on my to-do list done. You guys know the story.

The thing is, I really don't want to be medicated. I hate taking meds, I even avoid NSAIDs unless I've done everything possible to relieve whatever pain I'm having. And I'm not a huge fan of counseling, I tried going a year ago for some unrelated issues and was mostly irritated by the counselor I got. But I'm trying to apply for extra programs my school offers and I have to get good recommendations from my professors so I figure I'll go to try and appease them, and maybe work some of this stuff out.

So anyway. My professor told me that a ton of nursing students end up with these problems because of the stress of nursing school in general, combined with personal problems that everyone has. So I thought I'd come here and ask: does anyone have advice for me? Whether it's ways to overcome anxiety, or encouragement about counseling, or how you've gotten through school, or telling I'm just being self-centered, or whatever? Only one of my friends (my boyfriend actually) knows what's going on right now, and since he and I are having so many issues it's hard to talk to him, especially because he feels like he's to blame. I don't want to talk to my family about this, because they're about to start a huge move to Europe and I don't want them worrying about me in the midst of that. I just want to try and handle this as much on my own as I can without burdening other people.

Thanks for anything you guys can offer.

[VampyrSlayer, CNA]

I would love to know too. I'm prenursing, but my anxiety has sky rocketed in the past few months. I was put on Zoloft which helped a bit, but my anxiety was still leaving me non-functional. Checked myself into the hospital for 8 days and did an accelerated cross taper to celexa. Definitely a better med for me, but I'm still struggling. I started counseling too. I didn't want to be on meds either but I lost 35 lbs in less than a month and the hospital I checked in to was amazing.

[LadyFree28, BSN, LPN, RN]

I began taking medications during nursing school; I was on them before due to me having PTSD; but was tapered off them.

One of my instructors noticed that I was in an exacerbation from my PTSD when I forgot my stethoscope for clinicals; she pulled me aside for clinicals and I told her that my trauma and I found a counselor and talked to my PCP (who knew about the trauma) and got back on them; I ended up tapering off them once I secured a counselor, but found myself back on a different med, same class, but a lower dose and less side effects within a year after I graduated nursing school. I also see a psychiatrist for medication management and monitoring currently.

I don't like taking medication, but my school of thought is, I went to be my best and healthiest. Think about that, and be gentle with yourself.

Best wishes.

[pixierose, BSN, RN]

Sorry you're going through all that -- it sounds like a lot ((hugs)).

A few thoughts...

First off, from experience, "handling things on your own without burdening other people" - family/friends rarely see it as a 'burden' to hear you out. Will they worry? Of course. But that's their job. Switch spots with them for a sec: how would you feel in their position? Would you feel that they're a burden?

Second, I know a lot of people in my classes who are on meds and/or see a therapist. Some indefinitely. This isn't anything to be ashamed of. You would treat diabetes; thus, you would treat your mental health. However, that doesn't mean you have to stay on them forever. Some people start taking meds/see a therapist to get that "kickstart" they need to jump back into life.

Whatever you decide, remember you're not alone. And don't ever feel you're being self-centered!