Depression & Nursing

[noellebell]

Hi,

I had a question for any current nurses or nursing students. I was diagnosed with depression in high school and have been treated with anti-depressants ever since. Currently I am a second semester junior in a BSN nursing program. I have reached a point where I don't know whether or not to continue pursing my nursing degree. My symptoms of depression have worsened during school. It is hard for me to even concentrate on homework which leads to late nights and the stress of procrastination. The nursing professors are not warm and inviting like I thought they would be. I would not feel comfortable discussing fears or concerns with them. Clinicals have been a major source of anxiety. I have learned so much but I am so afraid to care for my patients. I am constantly worried about whether I am doing things right. I would never want to hurt someone. What I was wondering is if there are any other nurses or nursing students who have depression and have made it through school and are efficient happy nurses? Thanks in advance for any replies! I'm glad that I found a safe place to ask this question.

[mammac5]

Excellent, and thanks for sharing that Mattiesmom!

[2008pn]

I was diagnosed with major depressive disorder when I was 12. Middle school and high school were a nightmare-I attempted suicide twice and was inpatient in a psych facility for a few months. Once I got out in the "real world", had my daughter, and built a life for myself, I thought I was doing o.k.-I just learned to accept that I was never going to be truly happy. I was able to function without meds for 4 years, but I was just kind of drifting along with no sense of direction, no idea what I was going to do with my life and not really caring all that much.

When I first started nursing school, all of those problems resurfaced in a big way-actually, it sounds almost exactly like what you are describing-with the crippling anxiety in clinical, the unapproachable instructors, the pressure to be perfect. On top of that, I became the target of a group of "mean girls" who picked up on that vulnerability and made it their mission to push me to my breaking point-eventually it all became too much and I did have what I can only describe as a serious mental breakdown and I had to withdraw from school. At that point, I thought I would never go back.

Eventually I just came to the realization that no matter what happened with school or my career, I had to make my mental health a priority-I started seeing a psychiatrist 3 times a week and attending group therapy. I found the right combination of medications that worked for me. And most importantly,through a lot of therapy and a lot of writing, I finally dealt with some of those unresolved issues that were haunting me from my past. It was not easy by any stretch, and I'm still a work in progress, but that was the best thing I've ever done for myself. It may have even saved my life.

So anyways, I'm back in school now (5 months from graduation and #1 in my class ) and while there are definately good days and bad days, I can honestly say I'm the happiest I've ever been in my life and I've NEVER regretted my decision to go back.

I don't know what advice to give you other than you absolutely need to take care of yourself before you can take care of anyone else, and you have to love yourself enough to know that you don't deserve to feel this way. If it means taking time off-that's not the end of the world, I'm living proof of that! But don't think for one second that you are any less capable of being a happy, efficient nurse just because you happen to have an illness-it might make things more challenging, but in the end you will find out that you are more resilient than you ever knew.

Thank you for sharing I have been battling depression since highschool. I will be 24 this year and this feels like the worst year of all the time that I have this I am partly scared and ashamed I want to see a therapist but am afraid that some how it will get out.....how can I be a nusre and be having this feeling of just sadnees

[metfan]

I really wish we could be more open with our teachers. I also suffer from occasional depression and anxiety. I never discussed it with teachers. They don't seem to be very understanding of these issues. However, my friend, who is diabetic, frequently talks to the teachers about her needs and issues. For instance, she needs to have a snack if clinicals go long and test herself frequently. I always think she has a pancreas problem and I have a brain problem. My neurons are not working properly but I cannot be open for fear of not being understood. To me, it is a bit of a double standard. On a positive note, I got help and now am done. I graduate in a few weeks.

[2008pn]

I really wish we could be more open with our teachers. I also suffer from occasional depression and anxiety. I never discussed it with teachers. They don't seem to be very understanding of these issues. However, my friend, who is diabetic, frequently talks to the teachers about her needs and issues. For instance, she needs to have a snack if clinicals go long and test herself frequently. I always think she has a pancreas problem and I have a brain problem. My neurons are not working properly but I cannot be open for fear of not being understood. To me, it is a bit of a double standard. On a positive note, I got help and now am done. I graduate in a few weeks.

ongratulations I still have 18 monthsPray for me:lol2:

[newnurseman]

I am a last semester nursing student and I also get depression and anxiety. Teachers are not understanding of life circumstances and that is just the way it is. I find when I have depression and anxiety I cannot focus on my school work or even think of what I need to do next. How I handle it:

Make lists of what needs to get done week by week. Then prioritize your list. Force yourself to study/work on something from the list for an amount of time that is reasonable for you, then step away and relax for a little while and then repeat process.

I find it helpful to reward myself at the end of the day for accomplishing everything I needed to. (My favorite reward is a couple beers and a favorite TV show.)

Don't study till right up to a test, give your brain time to relax.

When depressed/anxious exercise, scream, take it out on an inanimate object, or whatever it takes to get it out.

These are things I do that help. I still get depression and anxiety but have been able to keep up in school anyway.

Good luck to you, and all of us.