Published Jan 29, 2002
"I get enough exercise just pushing my luck!"
"Women who seek to be equal to men lack ambition."
"Reality is a crutch for people who can't handle drugs."
"I don't suffer from insanity, I enjoy every minute of it!"
"A bartender is just a pharmacist with a limited inventory."
"He who laughs last thinks slowest."
"Consciousness: that annoying time between naps."
"Be nice to your kids. They'll choose your nursing home."
"Why is 'abbreviation' such a long word?"
"Ever stop to think, and forget to start again?"
He! He! He! Good ones! you got me thinking.
Why does glue not stick to the inside of the bottle?
Is it a good thing if a vacuum really sucks?
Why do you press harder on a remote control button when you know the batteries are dead?
If love is blind, why is lingerie so popular?
Why is bra singular, and panties plural?
Oops, better stop there!
OK, here's some more to ponder over....
If you can't drink and drive, why then do you have to provide a driver's licence to buy liqour and yet bars have parking lots?
If a cow laughed real hard, would milk shoot out of it's nose?
Why isn't 'palindrome' spelt the same backwards?
Why is it so hard to remember how to spell 'MNEMONIC'?
Why is there only one Monopolies Commision?
Why is it called 'after dark' when, in reality, it is after light?
Why, when driving and looking out for an address, do you turn the volume down on the radio?
Why do they put Braille dots on the keypads of the drive-up ATM's?
And, finally, one of my personal faves.....
If 7-11 is open 24/7/365, why then, are there locks on the door?
......makes you think, eh?
jschut, BSN, RN
1)If everything comes from a seed, how do seedless watermelon grow?
2)How come there are 8 hot dogs in a package and 10 hot dog buns in a package?
3)Why do you drive on the parkway and park on the driveway?
4)Why are they called "hot water heaters"? Why does hot water need to be heated?
Just my 2 cents....
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