Dealing with bad outcomes for the patient

[coco0106]

I've been in the operating room for the past two years now (time flies) and have made the transition to a level 1 hospital that has a heavy focus on cancer.

currently in neurology and the entire week has not gone well for the patients, the doctors close the patient up saying they can't do anything for them.

I am so used to being able to help fix a patient in the OR, a week where the patient is left with the Tumor and radiation being their last hope seems to be weighing me down and I was wondering how you all cope with it? I can handle the surgeons stress and yelling just fine...its when we can't do anything for the patient and it's cancer related that sticks with me.

just yesterday a friend (who isn't in the nursing field) said everyone will get cancer and I was so upset I couldn't talk to her anymore. This is really bad and I want to learn how to deal with this better help please

[Rose_Queen, BSN, MSN, RN]

The thing about cancer is that not everyone can be cured or sent into remission. It's just part of life. You may need to take a few steps back and try to distance yourself from these patients. There needs to be a balance between protecting yourself by compartmentalizing and empathizing with the patient. You may even benefit from discussing this with your employer's Employee Assistance Program or a therapist of your own choosing. It's not just OR nurses who need to learn how to do this; it's something that can affect nurses in any specialty.

[SandraFenway]

I tried once explaining to my sister what I do and how stressful it was. She told me I needed to find another job - essentially a shut up. It was so painful, I wasn't being overly complaining, I was just trying to talk. It's very hard to talk to outsiders about our profession, they just can't imagine it really. We are supposed to be angels of mercy, not debbie downers - sometimes it's a very lonely existence at the end of a stressful day.