43 days clean

[rnaddict]

Hello,

How wonderful to find this site, On 10/1/2010, I was confronted at work about diverting dilaudid, needless to say I admitted I had a problem, what a relief, I felt as though the world had been lifted off of my shoulders, I have a wonderful employer who is working with me, and the state I am licensed in has an extraordinary peer assistance program that I will have a three year monitoring agreement with once I finish my 20 days of out pt therapy, I finished a 30 day in patient program on 11/05. My problem is I feel so uncomfortable in my own home, when I am not at a meeting or at therapy I feel anxious and like I don't know what I am suppose to do in my own home, I have a very supportive husband of 28 years, he goes to alanon and comes to all of the family therapy at treatment, any suggestions, is this normal, I really want to to beat this, I knew I had a problem before I was caught diverting, but I didn't know how to deal with it.

[rn/writer, RN]

Call your sponsor. Journal. Talk to yourself (no, it's not a sign of insanity ). Try to sit still for five minutes and think about where the discomfort is coming from. Are you afraid you will use? Do you need to establish some healthy new habits? Are you bored?

Also take a physical inventory. Many addicts have become so focused on the drinking or drugging signals that they have become less sensitive to normal physical sensations. Are you hungry? Are you tired? Here's one that is often missed until it gets really bad--are you thirsty? Are you too cold or warm. Do you need to take a walk or a shower or a nap?

Instead of running from the feelings or trying to cover them up ask them (the feelings) who they are and what they are trying to tell you.

Another thought is that you can't just quit doing something. You have to put something else in its place. Work on finding some good substitutes for old behaviors. Let yourself feel the fear and you'll stop fearing it so much.

Stay in the same room with your anxiety and learn more about yourself. If you've been using for a long time, you probably need to get acquainted with this new person who is clean and sober.

One question to keep revisiting is what feelings led you to start using in the first place.

Think of this, not as a stressful time of great anxiety, but as a good workout to become stronger and less afraid. This is part of the healing process. The fact that you can put your discomfort into words says you are getting better.

One day at a time. Or if that's too much, one minute. Those minutes add up.

[rnaddict]

Thanks, these are all things my treatment has been teaching me, i just need to put them to use at home, not only at meetings and while i am in treatment

[oldladyRN]

Dear RNaddict:

Although I have nothing profound to add, I did want to say a heartfelt "congratulations" for coming this far. I can only imagine the struggle that being clean for 43 days has been. My own dear brother has been sober for one year and our entire family is getting together tonight to celebrate it (he gets to pick the restaurant, so who knows WHAT we'll be eating).

I am thinking of you and will keep you in my prayers. Send me a message if you want to talk. There are lots of people out there who are wishing you the best.

oldladyRN

[all_over_again]

Personally, I think it is important to keep busy and try to be in the company of other sober humans. Addiction for me was really lonely business.

Its all about balance. Some alone time to look at the past and plan for the future. Some time with other people to satisfy that mammalian urge to bond.

For me, physical activity makes everything a little better.

.

[LisaB19]

I suggest you see a good psychiatrist. There is a high rate of addiction with those who have mental issues. I can't tell you how much the right medication helps.