Dating/Relationships & the Military

[Little_Mouse]

Hi everyone,

I wasn't sure whether or not to put this under the Dating & Relationships section or here. In either case, I was wondering about the effects/consequences/what to expect when dating, married or being in a serious relationship with someone (i.e. civilian) while being in the military. Also, I am wondering if there are any military women who are in a relationship with a civilian man and if there were/could be any conflicts that could arise, since it's most commonly seen that the man is in uniform and the wife is either also in the military or not.

I've been dating my boyfriend for 4 years now. We've been through a lot, especially the past couple years when I was a thousand miles away for nursing school. We did see each other during winter/spring/summer breaks, which was great. He's been very supportive of me throughout my pursuit of a nursing career. He's still in pursuit of his career (PT) and eventually we'd like to get married (once we have the money!)...

Anyway, it's been months since I graduated and I'm seeing that the military is becoming more of an option for me. I understand it's a huge commitment (a.k.a. becoming government property) and that being able to see my boyfriend during those breaks was a luxury compared to what the military would have in store (with being deployed for so much longer...).

I would really like to hear your experience and would appreciate any advice.

[zombie]

I am married 4 years before joining the military. We seem to do ok being away from each other during OBLC. We have kids so it can be hard for her to do everything. It can be very stressful in that regard. Your situation is different though. You have no kids and your not married lol.

If your in the military and your not married to your partner the military will not extend benefits to that person and won't pay for travel etc. If you get stationed outside US (OCONUS) him staying or moving with you needs to be worked out. HE will have to follow you around and adjust to your situation not vice versa. He will have to find jobs around where you will be at and I don't know what kind of career plans/school he has planned. He may be ok with that... (will you be?)

Of course you will be away for periods of time... I don't know how your relationship is.... but being away for 6 months to a year is a long time without physical needs being met. Will either one of you be ok with this?

I don't know your situation, your age, your goals etc. Your going to have to weigh everything. But my opinion (just my two cents, *** do I know). If your young stay single. Get married and THEN have kids later on closer to late twenties. Don't get tied down early lol. Your joining the military and your going to have the worst and BEST times of your life. Maximize the best times by being young and single lol. A lot of time later to be tied down later.

hope this helps... lol

[caliotter3]

The military is like any other job, keep your personal relationships out of the workplace and you will have no problems. Don't get involved with your supervisor at work. Fraternization is still a no no and can have dire consequences. Otherwise, just manage your personal life on your own time and you will be all right.