Crying when you need to talk about something serious

Eh. I'm the same, sorta. Once went in to see my boss after a truely awful shift, that had unsafe staffing levels and to many emergency's. Wasn't sad but burst into tears. Felt so embarrassed. Happened a few times I've seen my boss, no one has seen me cry as much as a boss has ever! But there's not much you can do, I try hold off as much as I can. And of it happens you just have to move on. No harm caused.

I tend to cry when I am frustrated, and struggling to check my emotions - it's like my body's reaction is to purge tears as a stand-in for emotion. I've personally found that journaling helps me a lot. I'm not one of those that will jump up to say something when I'm offended - I'll wait a day or two, mull it over, and process my feelings before I attempt to broach the subject - being direct and timely has it's merits, to be sure, but it's better for me to have time to process something and reflect on my own reaction to it. Half the time it's something I can happily let go of, after some thought. If a coworker brings an issue up to me, i've found it's usually ok to say "I hear you. Thank you for bringing that to my attention. I will think on what you've said", and they let it go, no need to go head-to-head when emotions run high.

Did you have this problem in your clinical, when discussing patient conditions? I find that the crying reaction usually happens for me in interpersonal things - when it concerns a patient, I go into "the zone", and have never cried when tackling a urgent problem. It sounds as if this might be the issue - the things you list are very emotional, whereas a patient who is declining or something is not personal - we are all on the same team of getting them right again.

I just passed the NCLEX and will be starting work on an acute care unit this month. For a few years now, whenever I think about or talk about anything that's even remotely serious I get the urge to cry and you can tell by my voice and face. I have no idea why it happens because a lot of the topics don't truly make me feel sad in that moment. For example, I was trying to explain who "the righteous among the nations" were to someone (non-Jews who helped the Jews in the Holocaust). Another example is when I was sharing a story I heard about a nurse during Hurricane Katrina who discussed how important it was for her to rely on her knowledge when the generators failed. Even just bringing things like this up triggers the response.

My concern is that this will likely be happening frequently on the unit when discussing things that are urgent and/or serious, like a DNR, during a code, etc.

Does anyone have a similar experience? How do you handle it?

*I have also been told in the past things like "you get used to it" or "it's alright to cry sometimes," but those aren't really the responses I am asking for. Over the years I have not gotten used to this response because it doesn't actually have to do with something that's truly sad to me.

Thanks for any input you have!

I can honestly say that I'm not an overly emotional person, but I do have some emotions. I think it's important to give yourself time to think and process feelings outside of work. Cry about whatever upsets you all at once so that it doesn't bubble over and out unexpectedly. One human being can only cry so much, right?

Thanks for sharing - I've never gotten choked up at clinicals, but I also have never really had a serious conversation like that. Recently I observed a conversation this great nurse had with a family who had unrealistic expectations about the patient's condition. She was very calm, but was essentially confronting their misconceptions and stating that she's concerned about the medications he is requiring, the doses, etc. despite our efforts.

On my drive home I tried to repeat some of the phrases she used to myself as if I were talking to the patient and it made me teary.

I will also run through the DNR conversation in my head sometimes and even though there isn't even a patient involved it can make me teary. So that makes me worry that it's not about letting out emotions. I just want to be able to be strong and concise for my patients, so it's frustrating to thing this may affect my conversations.