Corrosive coworker - advice please!

[icesk8ie]

I am a new grad and have worked at my facility for approximately 6 months now. One of my coworkers I feel is just gunning for me to do something wrong. She is constantly telling me things that I "should" have done, meanwhile offering no constructive criticism and absolutely no help when she is in charge. She is considered one of our resource nurses and is frequently in charge, which puts her in a somewhat supervisory position. I feel like I am constantly defending myself in front of her and I don't work well when she's working. She tends to see things in a "linear" dimension, and not so much as a "dynamic" dimension. "Things are as they are and should be done as such, leaving no room for variables" seems to be her motto. I realize that I have a lot to learn, but I don't learn in this type of "hostile" environment. Meanwhile, many of her practices are questionable by many of the other nurses I have talked to. I am considering finding another position at another hospital anyway as I feel like this unit is not what I'm looking for in my career, but it sucks to leave because I like most of the people I work with. I need to deal with her for at least another month or so until I can find another job, as I do not want to leave my unit during the holidays as that would screw with other people's holiday schedules. I really do not want to strangle her and want to be as diplomatic as possible. Any advice would be helpful. Thanks in advance!

--icesk8ie

[meownsmile, BSN, RN]

YOu know there are some people you just cant get past. Do what you know you can, let her nitpick all she wants and dont let it get to ya. She would nitpick a perfectly performed precision ballet. Thats just the way she is. Let it roll off your back if you can. Take advice you want and leave the rest where she put it,,, out there in the air somewhere. Its not worth quitting a job you may enjoy if not for her,, there is one in every bunch,, no matter where you are.

[pianonurse]

How about just being upfront with her? If she is some kind of mentor or charge nurse, then maybe a scheduled meeting between you and her can be made, away from the work place, to discuss your concerns. I've always taken the direct approach. I take this approach diplomatically of course. It's not easy sometimes. But at the very least, it lets the other party know where you stand on things. And hopefully it will clear up any misunderstandings and clear the air.

[icesk8ie]

I thank you both for your advice. It is very difficult to be upfront with her as she is very set in her ways and doesn't listen to anyone. I also want to clarify that I am not leaving my job because of her, I'm planning on leaving because I don't want to work in that particular area. I try to let what she says roll off my back, but I feel like she is constantly snooping around on me, and I can't work with people who are constantly questioning me. I know my limits and am frequently clarifying things with others. It is just really frustrating to have this going on. Thanks for letting me vent.

--icesk8ie

[SmilingBluEyes]

http://www.bullyonline.org

bullies are all over the workplace. The sooner you learn to deal assertively (not aggresively) the better. I wish you well!