Hello. I am in desperate need of advice. Ironically, I am an advice nurse...but I need help sometimes too! I have been a nurse for almost 27 years. I am beyond burned out. I can really say I have very little empathy, if any, left. I have been working in a busy call center for almost 2 years now. It's getting more and more difficult for me to cope with the ridiculous calls we get. I worked with sick babies the first 25 years of my career. Decided to try something new. Boy, is this new. I find myself getting heart palpitations from some of the calls. I also start to sweat a lot. This is the kind of job where you cannot just walk away from the phone. We are closely monitored every single minute of the day. It's all computerized of course. Anyway, the calls that get to me are the anxious people, in turn causing me to be anxious. I really don't take the calls personally, it's more along the lines of feeling these people's voices in my head and seeping through my body. Sounds dramatic, but that's how I feel. I have even been getting cold chills when I feel so overwhelmed. I am shocked at how people act, how ignorant they are, and how rude they can be. I liked working with babies because they are innocent and they don't talk back. The parents could be difficult however. I am trying to look at the positives. I have a good commute, good pay, good company to work for, but how in the world can I cope?? I sometimes feel like a 911 operator, which I never expected. The calls range from easy to difficult, dumb to smart, rude to nice, you name it. I guess it's to be expected. It feels good just to express myself here. I really wish I could just retire and be done with it all. So...if you have any great advice I would love to hear it!! I am at the end of my rope. But I also can't find another job right now that would work for me. I had a friend tell me she loves advice nurses when she calls us, they are so nice and helpful. That made me feel better. This job makes me roll my eyes constantly. People really are helpless and clueless with their healthcare. So, my main question is how do you deal with anxiety while at work? Besides walking away...I can't do that very often.
Thanks so much for telling your story. Unfortunately, I have to stay with nursing because I know I couldn't find another job that pays this well. I tend to worry a lot about some calls I get. The responsibility is huge to make sure we do/say the right things. I am going to focus on not beating myself up. I am a perfectionist sometimes. I am also keeping my eyes open for a different job. Thanks for sharing your story. You sound like a very caring, compassionate person. My compassion is over at this point. So tired.
The stress is a combination of things...sometimes it's not knowing if I am saying the right thing because people can ask some bizarre questions. Most of my stress comes from things like telling a person a lot of advice, trying to convince them they don't need to see the doctor, then they still ask to come see the doctor. Or the parent who thinks they need to come to the ED because there child has a fever of 101. Or the person who doesn't request refills on their medication in a timely manner, so they call the advice nurse for help and we can don't much except relay the message to their doctor. It's just a frustrating job. I feel like people think nurses know everything, and the weight is all on my shoulders. I am not a doctor! When I hear stress and anxiety in someone's voice it literally makes me get palpitations sometimes. It's like being a 911 operator on some calls. I need to stand and walk in place more like one poster suggested. I also start feeling like a robot because we say the same things over and over. Sadly, at this point, I can say I am just doing this job for the paycheck. On the other hand, there are a few calls that will make me feel like I am actually helping someone. But it's hard feeling like I have to be a PI to figure out what they want, or what their problem is.
Sadly I feel your issue. I haven't even been a nurse that long 8 years and 20 total in healthcare. I myself have had some personal experiences that have made me take a step away from nursing and reevaluate. And truly am lost. There's no available resources to easily go to besides boards like this. How do the caretakers take care of each other or themselves without resources? I'm praying for you and hope you find some peace!! If you find a solution let me know!!!! 💜
You can usually reason with patients who DO talk back. But you have to remember who is in charge of the call. If you allow the person the other end OR her/his SITUATION to take charge, you've lost- now you're at his/her whims and the conversation will go in directions you don't want. I think the advice would be to remember it's the caller's situation, not yours. It's one thing to have empathy for that caller's problem, but quite another to take on the problem as if it's yours. You do have the training that allows you to help. Understand and KNOW that, use it, but know you can't make decisions for the caller. That's their bailiwick!
MA Nurse, I am willing to bet that a lot of your stress stems from only being able to talk to your patients over the phone and not being able to have any type of actual contact with them. As a long time nurse, you are used to being able to physically assess your patients. A large part of nursing is made easier by physical assessment and contact with patients. You can usually determine how effective you are being by looking at someone's face. When that is taken away, it makes the job a lot harder! Adjusting to being able to talk to your patient as your only form of assessment has got to be difficult as well as stressful. I think you are probably doing a better job than you think, and you are doing what most nurses do...being overly compassionate towards your patients. As far as managing stress, I would suggest setting some boundaries for yourself. Try to make sure that you take ALL of your scheduled breaks. Set timers on your phone throughout the day for one minute intervals to deep breathe and "meditate." I think you would be surprised how much taking one minute to yourself to block everything else out will help your frame of mind. It will be VERY hard to do at first but give it a week and I promise that you will notice a difference in your stress level at the end of the day. I hope some of this rambling helps!! :)
I can totally relate. Ive done a lot of phone triage and teaching dealing with difficult families and patients.
I've been a RN for 11 years and worked in forensic psychiatric with kids and adults. Child molesters, murderers, rapists, women who killed their own kids, men who killed their families as well. Since it's a hospital and they were not found guilty by reason of insanity or deemed manifestly dangerous--meaning no other facility can care for the patient they are too violent--there are no cells, always have to watch your back, goes from calm to a staff running from my patient who is attempting to smother her with a garage bag he acquired due to an unreported broken cabinet lock.
So all that rant to say, what I do and have done is when they yell or curse me out threaten me I set a boundary that the behavior is inappropriate and my voice stays calm and softer even though I want to just strangle them (figuratively) after they just beat my staff so badly his lip is split vertically up
to his nose with a smile on their face and have to call for help and try not to get us all hurt since we're outnumbered---just remember whatever their problem is the way they behave toward you mostly has nothing to do with you. It helps me not to take it personally. I have empathy for my patients and can relate to abuse they've suffered in the past (as have I) but it doesn't give them the right to behave as they do.
In your job it's tough, u never know who or what's calling which creates its own anxiety so just breathe, find your "center" or inner calm, matter of fact observant nurse and try to answer what they ask. Give them the info they need--you are helpful and a great resource to these ppl whether they r grateful or not. All u can do is inform them and let them do as they will--you did ur part their health is ultimately their choice and responsibility. Try to re-set your mind after each call, if you need a minute away tell the manager or coworker sometimes just going to the bathroom for 1 minute to breathe helps me reset. I probably sound jaded and callous sorry lol I have just seen some of the worst **** and worked with victims offenders and victims who become offenders each time I think this has to be the worst I'll ever see someone comes in and tops it. I also know I can care and love them but can't make them do what they should used to make myself sick because I couldn't get through to them--I've found they heard me just sometimes I may not see them take the advice and they call back after 2 years and say thanks or they end up dying--you can't and shouldn't take on that burden u do ur best and be empathetic but don't get so sucked in to their problems or situation that u no longer have a clear objective view--whether they like ur advice or not doesn't matter just give each person the what you know and let them go. Good luck! U sound awesome!
To Dear MA nurse , sorry to know that you are going through so much stress related with your work . I hardly go on allnurse .com .may I suggest you that what I think is if you do some mindfulness trainings and meditations . It may help you . In case you happen to do anything related with it does help you .please let me know . It does help me . Thanks
MA Nurse...I am so sorry you have been dealing with this stress and anxiety. Its crazy to think that going from working in a hospital (which is super high stress ) to working in an office/call center environment would be just as stressful....but it is!! I left the hospital about a year ago (used to work on a step down unit then an icu)..I left to take a job as a cardiac health coach/disease mgmt position...this allows me to work in an office or from home. While I love the opportunity to work at home...I realize that's the only perk. These companies treat you as a call center worker now...not as a nurse...the most important thing to them are numbers and productivity and having everything look good on paper...you are timed for every minute of your day and rarely get a lunch break! What??? This was supposed to be so more laid back from the stress of the hospital! The managers bragged about the great work life balance here! Ummm...no! There isn't a work life balance...it doesn't exist right now...and coming from where I worked three 12 hour days to 5 days of being scrutinized...it's tough to get used to. The environment you're in sounds even worse since you're working the advice/triage line...I hope things get better for you or that you find sumthing else in time that's not as stressful! Thank you for sharing your story. Best of luck to you...and take a little time each day to do something for you...just to relax a bit :)
I can imagine your pain. I am a psych nurse in the emergency department.
Maybe some behavioral change interviewing course would help. In one job I had there were health coaches who were experts in this and it helped them. Patients need to take accountability for there health and many don't. We have to be patent and empower them. Education is the key. You have a great opportunity to educate!
It sounds like the stressors of your job are far exceeding your ability to cope. What you need is a few days to just sit down and think about things. While it sounds like your job has many benefits, it sounds as though they are not enough to overcome the negatives.
When did you begin feeling this way about this job? Right away? A few weeks in? Years? Was this something that had a sudden onset or did it develop over the course of a long time? Lastly, how much longer do you think you can go like this? Your plan of action depends heavily on how you answer those questions, but if you answer them the way I suspect you might, you migh consider creating an escape plan.
first, lets take a moment to recharge your batteries and think about something else for a second. To ask you what you're passionate abour in life is too broad of a question. Instead, I'd like to ask you what in life currently excites you or brings you joy? Many times it is things we are good at doing that bring us excitement or joy. Maybe there is something specific you've always dreamt of doing or accomplishing in your lifetime. Anything at all, no matter how seemingly small, mundane, grand, or silly.
i have been a nurse for 24 years, and last year i hit my limit with ward nursing - i was beyond burnout as well - and experiencing palpitations and anxiety. in fact, i felt as if my whole personality was changing, and i didnt like the person i was becoming. I can totally empathize with your situation - i was there too.
I decided the time was right to change jobs because i really felt my sanity slipping away.
I have changed jobs - still within nursing; it is still stressful, but i am really enjoying it and i am back to my old self again - NO more anxiety or palpitations.
You have identified that you are at burnout, and that is is the clincher! for your own mental and physical well being, try a different job. Nursing is wonderful in that there are many different roles within it.
MA Nurse
676 Posts
Thanks so much for telling your story. Unfortunately, I have to stay with nursing because I know I couldn't find another job that pays this well. I tend to worry a lot about some calls I get. The responsibility is huge to make sure we do/say the right things. I am going to focus on not beating myself up. I am a perfectionist sometimes. I am also keeping my eyes open for a different job. Thanks for sharing your story. You sound like a very caring, compassionate person. My compassion is over at this point. So tired.